Sweets for the Sweet

Alrighty mighty cocksuckers! Time for an educational redeployment:


Now that's out of the way, GWiMMRN:

A) Too much time on my hands.
B) The tender mercies Larry "Bud" Melman gave to the live kitten he pulled out of his rectum on last night's David Letterman Show.
C) Sweets for the sweet.
D) Shit for the shit-asses.
E) A horribly fucked up rendition of the Canadian national anthem.
G) A big fat cock.


GWiMMRN, I'm So Fucking Tired Today Edition

I'm tired of the lack of focusing.

Other than that, I've got as much energy as a hummingbird on Benzedrine after it's eaten an entire slice of really good hot dog cake.


A) A very tasty 14 oz. sirloin cooked to medium-rare perfection, a mediocre caprese salad, Lyonnaise potatoes with crispy skin, and a delicious flourless chocolate-espresso cake with a dollop of vanilla ice cream
B) The fact that it's 12 hours after such a meal, and my digestive tract has yet to make the slightest inroad into disintegrating it: it is sitting in my stomach exactly the way it did last night after I ate it
C) *brrrrrrrp*
D) *prrp* *frrrrippp*
E) *brrrrrrRRRRRRrrowwwwwp*
F) Katie Couric's colonoscopy camera, not the least bit washed off after its harrowing "trip"
G) Mushy tomatoes, substandard mozzarella, and not enough basil
H) A big, fat cockoscopy


GWiMMRN, Unwarranted Comments at the Bus-Stop Edition

Stop talking to me Stop talking to me Stop talking to me Stop talking to me just stop it.


A) Some guy asking me why I'm wearing blue today.
B) My reply, "'Cause it's gonna be the color of your face when I'm through with you, buddy boy."
C) Dungarees.
D) A Horn of Plenty.
E) That time when Larry "Bud" Melman walked on-stage on The David Letterman Show and pulled a live kitten out of his ass.
F) A Big Fat C***.


GWiMMRN, Asterisks in Place of Profanity Edition

Jes*s FUCKING Chr*st Al-fucking-m*ghty, what's wrong with you g*ddamned fuckfaces? Can't you FOCUS?

Here's another opportunity for you to show your g*ddamned fucking quality, or lack of it. GWiMMRN:

A) M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C.
B) Wedding cake
C) M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C.
D) Wedding cake
E) M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C.
F) Wedding cake
G) Watermellon Bubblisious
H) Watermellon Bubblisious
I) Watermellon Bubblisious
J) A big, fat cock


GWiMMRN, I'm Too F*ing Busy to Deal with You Non-Focusing A*holes Edition



A) Spinach. That's right. SPINACH.
B) The Ninth Gate.
C) The frequently overlooked yet still very deadly 4th Gate.
D) A too tight powder blue t-shirt.
E) America's Next Top Model.
F) America's Next Top Model Sore Loser.
G) A whole buncha things normal people shouldn't care about.
H) The New Fall Television Schedule.
I) A big, fat, overcooked, screechy cock.


GWiMMRN, Sunday Afternoon Blues Edition

It's not even Sunday afternoon yet, and I'm ready to crawl under my bed and never emerge again. You know why? It's because I realize that none of you fuckchops can FOCUS, will ever FOCUS, or give enough of a shit to try to FOCUS.

I soldier on.

Guess. What's in my mouth right...

Hold on...


A) The really awesome shits I've been taking, I mean huge and satisfying, leaving me six pounds lighter as I stroll away from the commode with my hands in my pockets and a big grin for the world to see
B) A candy cane gobbled out of a bushbuck's dingus like a stripy catheter
C) All of cyberspace except for this website, which is too digusting to put in anyone's mouth, let alone mine (oooo, the DEFECATIONS!)
D) A wall
E) Oatmeal cottage cheese pancakes, which aren't so bad actually
F) Creamed caramel corn, which is just as disgusting as you'd think it would be
G) My own itchy taint, which I surreptitiously scratched several times last night to the sound of rustling ass hairs
H) A big, fat cock