GWiMMRN, Pre-Thanksgiving Day Fiasco 2006 Edition

We here at the offices of GWiMMRN, Inc. are anticipating a Monumental Thanksgiving Day Fiasco for this Thanksgiving Day 2006. In anticipation of this horrible event, guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) Last year's Thanksgiving Day Fiasco.
B) All the horrible things that happened after Thanksgiving 2005.
C) Tits.
D) A National Conversation about ___________ [insert your tongue here).
E) A big fiasco cock.

*burp* I'M WATCHING YOU

It's true, you know. All of it.

Guess what's in my mouth right now.

A) 70% coverage when a certain someone told me it would be 100%.
B) The wily hog-cats of southwestern Alabama.
C) Meoink! Meoink!
D) The fine line between being lied to and being told something that wasn't true.
E) Chocolate-Macadamia Nut Coffee that tastes like boiled dog foreskins mushed through Alabama Pete's dirty backdoor windowscreen and swizzled through the the only two teeth Pete's got left in his disgustingly neglected unbrushed gingivitis-infested mouth.
F) Sophisticated surveillance pictures of you and yours.
G) Veg.
H) A big fat surveilled cock.

UPDATE: The answer is probably I) The unexpected and very welcome return of lola, whose new puppy will probably provide the closest thing to unconditional love and affection that she'll ever get. Hope all continues to go well in the life of GWiMMRN's first loyal and most beloved reader.

The 525th "I Think I'm Gonna Throw Up" Edition of GWiMMRN

*urp*

GWiMMRN:

A) A headache.
B) The thought, "It's so fucking HOT in here."
C) Nausea, and not the pleasant kind.
D) Arm-pit sweats, not mine.
E) A weird smell, like nail polish mixed with horrible body odor.
F) A big fat cheese covered cock.

GWiMMRN, Red Meat, Cigarettes, and Chlamydia Edition

*hunh!*

GWiMMRN:

A) Red Meat.
B) Cigarettes.
C) Smoked pork tenderloin with Chlamydia Surprise.
D) The itchies on my down-there.
E) A major malfunction.
F) A teary asshole.
G) A teary big fat c.o.c.k.