GWiMMRN, Fuck All of You Edition

That's my sentiment; fuck all of you. I've given you over a year to focus, a year to make something of yourselves, and look at you. You're treading water. You are the same non-focusing a-holes you've always been and, I have now concluded, always will be.

You are really, really unworthy of salvation. Really unworthy.

I was going to quit in October, the anniversary of my appearance on the World Wide Web. I was like the Jesus of the Internet, coming to save your sorry asses from yourselves. My Grand Fucking Plan (MGFP) was to liberate humanity from their non-focusing ways, from their inability to pay attention -- even for one second -- to something other than whatever unimportant minutiae they currently focus on. To do so, I asked you, everyday, to GWiMMRN (Guess What's in My Mouth Right Now)...

AND YOU FAILED. You failed your Savior and you have now failed yourselves. Lazarus could only be brought back once. I can't bring you back again. I was going to give you one year, but out of the kindness of my heart, I extended your chance for Redemption.

So, this is it. Your last chance before I go on an extended HIATUS from which I may never return.

Guess. Guess what's in my mouth right now.


A) The color yellow, successfully explained to a blind man who has never, ever seen the light of day.
B) The yellow I am curious about.
C) Roy G. Biv's macrocolorspectrometer.
D) A moisty turtle-turd sandwich with pimento loaf and drizzled Choeropsis leberiensis sperm all over it.
E) Terri Schiavo's dying wish.
F) A big fat cock.