Saturday Doesn't Suck Greasy Gray Rat Penises Edition of GWiMMRN

Saturday's all right at times. You know? I mean, it's not bad. It's got its moments. The crowning moment of Saturday is, as we all know, when you've guessed what's in my mouth right now:

A) The .35 square inches of facial skin not covered in horrible, angry red zits on that girl who works at the Subway
B) A nice, tasty $5 funnel cake with powdered sugar sprinkled all over it
C) The funnel cake shits, which are wettish, smelly, and utterly delicious
D) My carrrrr, which no longer smells like frrrrruit, because I left a loaf of asiago basil bread in it for a few hours, so it now smells like cheeeeeeeeeese
E) A funeral for poor Lem (Bonnie Bedelia did it)
F) A gross of greasy gray rat penises in syrup
G) Bonnie Bedelia, that murdering BITCH
H) A big, fat funnel cock


My Knob Is in a New York State of Mind

Loooong time no see, huh, snatchface? Well, I got something for YA. Something loooong and scarrrry. Yeah. You, you gonna wibble it alright. You gonna wibble it GOOD.

A) $8.50 for a bagel with whitefish salad? Are you out of your fucking mind? I mean, it may be Glatt Kosher, but for crying out loud, it's not like the Rabbi blessed it with his holy spooge.
B) $18 for a ticket to the Guggenheim Museum? Are you out of your fucking mind? And who the fuck wants to see 5 levels of David Smith? He's alright, but 5 levels worth? Geeze!
C) What the hell do you mean the New York Public Library is closed on Mondays? What, you don't think people want to read on Mondays?
D) $5.95 for a piece of cheesecake? Are you out of your fucking mind? You can come taste the history of my knob for these prices. You should be thankful I walked to Brooklyn for it.
E) $12.95 a lb. for little cookies? Are you fucking nuts?
F) That's all you get for $70 a night? A 10 by 8 foot cell? AND I have to share a bathroom?
G) The little Chinese woman in the room next to ours who, when realizing that I planned to take a shower, literally ran from her room to claim the bathroom before I could get there.
H) $8.00 for a shot of Johnny Walker? That's IT. You really can go fuck yourself now.
I) A wonderful time in NYC.
J) A big, fat apple cock.


All Right Wibblers, Let's Get Wibblin'

I'm still on the "wibble my knob" thing, so if it's not interesting to you, you're more than welcome to go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. Aside from that rolling doughnut, what's in my mouth right now?

A) A parliament of wibblers
B) A flock of knobs
C) heeheeheeheeheehee!
D) The high-pitched, whinnying grunt I let out when my knob was being wibbled and my rectum was being delicately probed by the long, slender fingers of Paris "Wibbly" Hilton
E) "Nibble my wob," which is what dyslexics say
F) Funeral cake
G) A big, fat cock


GWiMMRN, Knob-Wibbling Wednesday Edition

I know you're focusing. I know it. I'm going to ask you to do something difficult for me: focus AGAIN. FOCUS on what's in my mouth right now:

A) A severed knob that got wibbled too hard
B) A vague feeling that the whole "wibble my knob" thing may be old and played out
C) An impassioned plea from Sally Struthers to WIBBLE MY FUCKING KNOB
D) The Peter Gabriel song "Digging in the Dirt," ruined forever because SOMEONE sang it as, "Digging in my butt, to find the places we got turds."
E) Wibble, wibble, wibble, wibble, wibble oh fuck it
F) Wibbling in the dark, which is what you do when you're scared
G) Wedding cake
H) A big, fat cock


Them What's Got Knobs, Get to Wibblin'

Them what's got the simple ability to FOCUS, guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) The immortal words, "If I have to tell you to wibble my knob one more time, we're going to have a problem. Start wibbling."
B) Several dozen knobs, all ready for a long night's wibbling
C) The song, "There are many knobs that I would like for you to wibble...and they're throbbing."
D) Some who will die in hot pursuit while wibbling on my ashes
E) A Certificate of Completion for the recent Knob-Wibbling Course I taught at the local community college
F) Anniversary cake
G) A big, fat cock


Just fucking FOCUS, will you?

The lack of focusing is reaching epidemic proportions on this website. The only cure for it is to guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) Wibble my knob
E) A non-focusing, knob-wibbling, skin-sack
F) Knob-Wibblers Monthly, the magazine for the NON-FOCUSING, BARELY-FUNCTIONING RETARD
G) Birthday cake
H) A big, fat cock


Hot Gobs

I've got a hot gob for all you lil' wibblers out there.


A) Pride.
B) Prejudice.
C) Keira Knightly, that toothy seductress.
D) Roselyn Sanchez, the wife of Senor Chip Butty.
E) The fact that Senor Chip Butty is 13th on Google when you put in "chip butty."
F) Keira's revealing dress. Tooth me, baby! Ungh ungh ungh!
G) A pride of big, fat cocks.

GWiMMRN, FUCK Jesus and Everything Else That Is Holy Sunday Edition

My ballsack has more focusing power and dairy potential than the lot of you combined. That's fucking PATHETIC. To avoid becoming a total waste of skin and a load that rightly should've been swallowed, TRY to guess what's in my mouth right now, huh. These are all the things I'll be dealing with today, except for one:

A) The Sunday Afternoon Blues, when the fun of the weekend wears off and you realize you'll have to wake up tomorrow morning and deal with the whole rest of the fucking week
B) Chili and tortillas
C) An infected sinus
E) Tasty Kebabs: chunks of barbecued bloody Kotex alternating between gobbets of cat shit, baby rectums, and slices of YOUR MOTHER on a splintery wooden cocoa plunger
F) Snow
G) Muscle aches
H) My ballsack