Guess What's in My Mouth Right Now, Sabado GIGANTE Edition!

I even put things in my mouth on the weekend! Guess what's in there now:

A) The toilet offerings of Bert and Ernie after a breakfast of bran muffins and really old pork rinds
B) A loose, floppy pussy
C) Hurricane Wilma
D) Seashells
E) A few micrograms of chrome, lovingly sucked off of a trailer hitch
F) A fragment of hot dog-flavored wedding cake with store-brand mustard icing
G) A big, fat cock


GWIMMRN, Pre-Lunch Special

Alright, this one goes out to all you people getting ready for lunch.

Let me set the scene: It's before lunch. What's in my mouth right now?

A) Breakfast.
B) Freeze-dried kitten scrotums.
C) My latest job promotion rejection letter, unopened.
D) Impending disappointment.
E) 57 year old seminal fluid.
F) 18 year old woman juice.
G) A big, fat cock.

Hint: There can be only one.

Guess What's in My Mouth Right Now, GIGANTIC Friday Edition

It's Friday, and you know what that means: there's something in my mouth! What is it?

A) The Fantanas' cast-off pantyhose
B) lola, sweet lola
C) Bad teeth (a common English trait)
D) Blood sausage wrapped around a big, fat cock (a common English dish)
E) More bamboo shoots
F) More poop shoots
G) All of England except for lola's poop shoot
H) Wedding cake wrapped around blood sausage wrapped around a big fat cock (a common English woman's dish)


It's a Busy Day for My Mouth!

Oh! The places My Mouth will go!


A) An exact replica of Dick Cheney's daughter's gay labia, lovingly sculpted out of chocolate by 2004 Democratic Vice Presidential nominee John Edwards.
B) Boogers.
C) A damp, piebald stained towel found this morning under Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch bedroom.
D) The entire left tit of Christina Aguilera.
E) A mouthful of PissChrist.
F) Petit Sixes.
G) A big, fat cock.

*BRRRRRPPPPRPRPPP* The Thursday Post-Lunch What's in My Mouth Right Now Edition

By now, you know the drill.

A) A simply adorable little poop-chute I found while shopping for a throw rug at Penney's
B) Petit Fours
C) Petit Fives
D) Great big fucking Fours, none of that "petit" shit
E) The grim taste of disappointment that my mouth's blog isn't as popular as initially conceived
F) Dog-eared dogs' ears (to go with yesterday's meal)
H) A big, fat cock

There's SOMETHING in My Mouth Today...

Can you guess what it is?

A) A small pocket of saliva near the back of my tongue
B) A small packet of ketchup found under a Sonic dumpster
C) A small fragment of yesterday's meal of boiled dog foreskins
D) A small copy of Chairman Mao's "Little Red Book," sprinkled with the tweezed eyebrow hairs of Ann Althouse
E) A small drop of tepid skunk spunk
F) A big, fat cock


Guess What's in My Mouth After Lunch

I just ate lunch. Guess what's in my mouth right now.

A) Saliva coated cheese granules.
B) Saliva coated bread crumb granules.
C) Halitosis.
D) The tangy, sweet taste of store-brand mustard.
E) Plaque from Hostess ScaryCake .
F) A big, fat cock.
G) All of the above.

Guess What's in My Mouth Right Now, Wicked Wednesday

My mouth loves to say "Wednesday," even though it's spelled like it should be said differently. The illicit thrill is enough to give my mouth a boner, if such a thing were possible. So, what's in there?

A) Glenn Reynolds's tongue
B) Glenn Reynolds's tongue as it is saying "Wed-ness-day."
C) A homeless man's cocktail of Aqua Velva "Ice Sport Cooling Aftershave" and Sterno
D) Chewed up newspapers stolen from under a very rare bird's cage
E) Boiled dog foreskins
F) A placenta of your choosing
G) A big, fat cock


Guess What...?!?

Even though nobody's guessed the proper answer, we'll keep going, my mouth and I. So, what's in it?

A) Bamboo shoots
B) One of those faggy little cars in that movie
C) The hot, loose stool of Paris Hilton after a night of bad mexican food and cocaine
D) A paste of crunched-up DVD's and the aforementioned Hilton stool
E) Mother Teresa's embalmed pancreas
F) A big, fat cock

(Hint: It's one of the above.)


Guess What's in My Mouth Right Now, Blue Monday Edition

Hey, guys and gals! Guess what's in my mouth right now!

A) A big, fat cock.
B) A big, fat cock.
C) A big, fat cock.
D) A big, fat cock.
E) A big, fat cock.
F) Wedding cake.