GWiMMRN, Oldies but Goodies Edition

I've put something in my mouth that was in there before. Guess what it is:

A) Wedding cake
B) Wedding cake
C) Wedding cake
D) Wedding cake
E) Wedding cake
F) Wedding cake
G) Wedding cake
H) Wedding cake
I) Wedding cake
J) Wedding cake
K) Wedding cake
L) A big, fat cock

UPDATE: The answer may now be M) Wedding cake.

UPDATE UPDATE:

Give Me the Meat Quesadilla, Baby!

That's what granny used to say when grandpa came home hungry and tired after a long day at the meat packing plant. Oh, grandpa obliged. He certainly did.

GWiMMRN:

A) Little Debbie Glazed Donuts, which can be found in the vending machine, and of which I have recently become addicted.
B) Ass tissues.
C) A golf ball through a garden hose.
D) That Nicole Ritchie knows she's too thin, and how much I don't give a fuck.
E) That James Gandolfini got hit by a cab while riding a motor-scooter, that he's alright, and that I don't give a fuck about that, either.
F) That Halle Berry wants to adopt a child, and I super-really don't give a fuck about that.
G) A big, fat, drunken hootenany cock.

GWiMMRN, Really Bad Pick-Up Lines Edition

It's Cinco de Mayo, where Mexicans across the world celebrate kicking the shit out of the French army. What does this have to do with my mouth? With really bad pick-up lines? If you FOCUS, you'll know:

A) "You must have a mirror in your back pocket, because I see myself in your pants."
B) "Do you mind if I push in your stool?" (Said at gay bars.)
C) "If you were a booger I'd pick you first."
D) "I just shit my pants. Can I get into yours?"
E) "I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit."
F) "My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in."
G) "Nice tits, bitch." (Said to a feminist with no arms or legs.)
H) "Hi, my name is Frank; it's very nice to meet you. I really like the way your Manolos go with that outfit...they really make it pop. Would you like to suck my big, fat cock?"

GWiMMRN, Dripping with Thursday Goodness Edition

Got all your ducks in a row? Huh? Do ya, fucknose? Got them ALL. LINED. UP? I'm talking to YOU.

Yes, YOU.

Now focus. Guess what's in my mouth right now.

A) The 1970's oil crisis.
B) The rabid rabbit that Jimmy Carter battled in Plains, Georgia.
C) Jessica Rabbit's cartoon cunt.
D) Jessica Rabbit's arch enemy.
E) Bus Stop Chicken; it's when you're on the bus, and your stop is coming up, but you refuse to pull the cord to request a stop. Instead, you wait for someone else to pull the cord for you. The person who pulls the cord first before the stop is the chicken. I am the only one I know who plays this game, but the trick is that there may be others out there who play, and they may be daring you to be the Bus Stop Chicken. I almost never lose.
F) A big, fat, chicken fried cock.

GWiMMRN, Hot Carl Thursday Edition

The path to excellence goes RIGHT INTO my mouth. Are you ready to take the plunge? Guess what's in it right now:

A) A man falling from a very tall building
B) A tooth with hugely long roots that extend past the jaw like elephant tusks
C) A hot Carl's Jr.'s Six Dollar Chili Cheese Burger, which bears a suspicious resemblance to something I left in the commode after eating three pounds of rocky road ice cream and an entire London Broil
D) Sheppy's new fetish, which involves alligator clips, a car battery, a tablespoon of Crisco, and his horribly chapped anus
E) Chaps
F) Chaps
G) Not-so-funbags
H) Morbots
I) A big, fat, chafed cock

It Starts with Roast Beef...

...and ends in a Cleveland Steamer! But in-between is a whole lot of fun. Trust me.

Now, GWIMMRn:

A) The stomach growlies.
B) Your references, which/who are available upon request.
C) The Recently-Fired Busomly Commander in Chief.
D) News you can use as a shot rag.
E) A milfy, busomly woman in a Wonder Woman costume.
F) An octogenarian hornswaggler.
G) Your glory days. Yes YOURS.
H) A big-rig trans-fatty acid-rock cock.

It's TIME...

For another BUMP DAY Edition of GWiMMRN! You know, I remember the good old days, when GWiMMRN had Editions. Most people don't remember those halcyon days of yesteryear, when times were good and Jesus Christ Himself was giving out free blowjobs to all comers. Yup. Well, enough reminiscing. Time for the guessing:

A) A hot, yellow baptism with a side order of "immigrant thperm"
B) Eugene's breakfast
C) Twelve of those little skin-flaps that grow in and around your armpit
D) What looks like a torture device but is really a thing women put up their, um, you know. Their...parts. Get it? That place...down there. You know: what do you call it? The, uhhh, well...SUHHHHHH-NATCH!
E) The smell of popcorn popped inside Helen Thomas's pink parts
F) A brine shrimp sandwich
G) Jordan's roommate, who is moving out because, and I quote, "She doesn't like my music. Always bitching about me singing the song I wrote:

*spurrrrt!* *spurrt* *spurt*

*spurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttt!*

*spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* *spurt*

CAT SHIT

Oh, yeah

And the whole 'Dod-a-chock? Dum-a-chum?' thing was drivin' me nuts."
H) Ash's big, fat cock

Wet My Beak!

I'm just looking for a little focusing here, people. Not a whole lot. Just enough to wet my beak a little.

Now... FOCUS. FOCUS. FOCUS.

Now... guesswhat'sinmymouthrightnow.

A) A wet beak!
B) A cheesy, sweat-sock smelling paste under a layer of yellowish, oily fat.
C) A dollop of mustard based mango salsa served on a Ritz cracker.
D) A gently used ass gasket.
E) Free burritos down by the deserted taco shop.
F) Legitimate thee-ater.
G) An immigrant's big, fat cock.

UPDATE: The answer may now be H) The seemingly endless supply of forced mirth and accompanying fake laughter at unfunny jokes that are told because they really didn't know what else to say.

UPDATE UPDATE: The answer is most likely I) The funny little story I told myself on the way to the bathroom that made me laugh out loud: instead of going in the commode, I would simply pee off the mezzanine onto the desk (and head) of the woman sitting below. She'd blink a few times, and say, "Wha- what's that? Is that...Oh...oh my God! It's piss! It's PISS! IT'S PISS!!!" And then, squealing, she'd just dance horrified in place, not even moving out of the stream while I let loose my bladder's contents like a racehorse.

The HILLS Are Alive...

With the sound of MY MOUTH! Like I was saying to my good buddy Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN as he choked down several dried otter penises, the hills are indeed alive. Lord knows why. Anyway, they're singing about my mouth and its contents. The HILLS, you see, can FOCUS. So, GWi my mouth R now:

A) The hot, loose, nervous stools of several Best Buy managers
B) The pathos-laden words, “Eyes open. Eyes open. Anyone wearing a blue shirt. Eyes open."
C) Crispy chicken skin
D) Rosie O'Donnell's juicy, lubricious female parts
E) *blorp* Shark! Shark!
F) New York City's Finest
G) A snapshot of that HOMO in the park who's always dressed up like Bugs Bunny with a boner and a set of false teeth
H) Rosie's big, fat cock

MAH MOUTH IS GR8!1!!1!1 OMG WTF LOL UR MOUTH SUX COK!!1!! WTF LOL

THEYRE TRULY IS NOTHNG BTAR THAN MAH MOUTH111!1!1 OMG LOL NOTHNG!!11!!11 OMG AS SUCH I THOUGHT I WUD CONV3Y THIS INFORMATION IN A FASHION TAHT EVEN A RETARDED TENAEGR CUD UNDERSTAND!!11 OMG LOL SO GU3S WUT IN MAH MOUTH RIGHT NOW:

A) The AOLer Translator Tool
B) The goopy white stuff that electrifyingly shoots out of this man's tool, accompanied by high-pitched barks
C) The dick Madonna wants you to suck
D) The stool sample in a white china bowl I gave to this man in lieu of the Hershey bar he asked for
E) The proctologist's glove I bought on Ebay upon learning that it had been previously used to explore Paris Hilton's cute li'l poop-chute
F) A previously-chewed Nutri-Grain bar
G) A big, fat flaccid bum bum bumblebee bumblebee penis

There'sNoTimeToLose!

Hurry! GWiMMRN! DOOOOO IIIIITTTT!!!

A) Flaccid bumble-bee penises dipped in molten honey.
B) Shit covered doughnuts served to an unwitting Dunkin' Donuts customer.
C) A block of sharp cheddar cheese.
D) A carbon copy of the Declaration of Independence.
E) Sea-World, every mother-lovin' gallon of it.
F) Shamu's big, fat cock.