GWiMMRN, The Living End Edition

I keep threatening it and threatening it and one day I'll pull the plug on this damned website and then where will you be? It will be the Living End for all of you.

You think this is easy? I'm doing all of this FOR YOU. I stuff things in my mouth and all you have to do -- for an easy shot at redemption and salvation -- is for you to guess what's in there. It's so simple a BLIND PERSON could do it.

So, here it is, maybe your last chance. GWiMMRN:

A) A badly burned earlobe from answering the iron when the phone rang.
B) A dog leash with no dog attached.
C) Corduroy, which is Helen Keller's favourite color.
D) Burnt fingers from reading the waffle iron.
E) Helen Keller's dog, which is named "Urghrrghrghr."
F) A big, fat blind one eyed trouser snake.


Spring Cleaning, Pre-Winter Solstice GWiMMRN Edition Edition Edition

It's never too early for spring cleaning!


A) Dust bunnies.
B) Playboy bunnies.
C) The 10 a.m. coffee shits.
D) Dirigidibibbles.
E) Lots of stuff I have no need for but some how have accumulated a shit load of.
F) A morass of ass.
G) A big fat doofus penis cock thing whatever.

GWiMMRN, Post-Thanksgiving Uncle Ned Edition

Yes, the Thanksgiving Day Fiasco 2006 was all that was cracked up to be. Truly a train-wreck of gastronomical proportions. Now, the wreckage. Guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) That Uncle Ned managed to get the whole turkey, piping hot from the oven, half-way up his ass before we caught him.
B) That after we forceably extracted the hot turkey from his bleeding and badly, badly burned rectum, we forgot which end of the turkey was up his ass.
C) Some unpleasant joking around the table about whether we were eating the "Uncle Ned" end of the turkey.
D) The blood and pubic hair all over my plate, which answered my question.
E) That all the drugs produced by Astrazeneca could not erase my memory of that Day.
F) Uncle Ned's very insincere apology, especially after he spent 45 minutes berating himself for not thinking to use the turkey gravey as a lubricant.
G) A big, fat cock.