"Take This Cock and Shove It"

Don't forget to pack some clean undewear for your trip to the fudge packing factory.


A) Jo'burg.
B) Mo'burg.
C) The penis pump I lost somewhere in the wild savannahs of Zambia.
D) A shift of my testicles to the right.
E) The fitness warriors of Hawaii.
F) A shift of my testicles to the left.
G) A big, fat bushbuck cock.


Dr. Mouth, I Presume

I have returned from DEEPEST, DARKEST AFRICA to bring you a whole new selection of things to guess.


A) Impala balls.
B) A surprisingly soft and puckery zebra anus.
C) The hump of a humpback whale.
D) Four shiv wielding children asking you for your wallet and cell phone down by the promenade.
E) The knobbby knees of a giraffe.
F) A 27 hour trip and all the orange chewable Drammamine I could stand.
G) Spinach, for no particular reason.
H) A waterbuck's stinky, big fat cock.


GWiMMRN, The Furry Catballs Give More Advice Edition

Your advice column is open for business:

Dear Mouth,

I've generally been feeling sick lately, like I'm tired all the time. A thin, yellowish fluid has been leaking fitfully from the head of my penis since last week, and the last time I got an erection, a blood vessel popped in it so the whole thing is a disturbing sort of eggplant-purple. It might have something to do with the infection I got from rubbing it raw and bloody when I mistakenly used "Oil of Olay Apricot Scrub" instead of KY. I should go see a doctor, shouldn't I?


Chappasquiddick in MA