GWiMMRN, Horribly Inflated Scrotum Saturday Edition

Okay, this is an easy one.

GWiMMRN:

A) This man's horribly inflated scrotum:



B) Wedding cake
C) A big, fat cock

FOOOOD FIIIIGHT!

Hey everybody! It's a food fight! Dig it!

GWiMMRN:

A) Rhino balls, boiled to perfection.
B) Catt "Shitt" Sadler's extra-hairy coochie train, which is #1 on the Daily 10.
C) Dengue FEVER!
D) My cock, presented in a 30 minute cyclic format.
E) Robin Meade's spoogeriffic harido... oooo! That hoo-err!
F) TYPHOID THEATRE.
G) KUNG-FU THEATER.
H) BIG, FAT COCK THREAT.

GWiMMRN, 668 Is the Neighbor of the Beast Edition

Still reveling in your unexpected reprieve, I hope? Excellent. Still focusing? You'd BETTER be. GWiMMRN:

A) The barbed, fiery, porky cock of the pig-demon Grungdunt that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is no doubt sucking on in the lower reaches of Hades while naked virgins cavort just out of reach as they toss flaming clots of JOOOO shit at his flabby, hairy corpus
B) A paper clip. A fucking PAPER CLIP
C) The Baby Jesus's first dirty diaper, called a Holy Relic by Opus Dei and kept enshrined in the Vatican. The miracle is that the loose, yellowy shit in it DOES NOT DRY
D) Pizza
E) The Korean martial art of Hapkido
F) The candiru
G) A big, fat cock with extra cheese

UPDATE: If Deroy Murdock is the "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN, then George Washington is GWiMMRN's Guardian Angel.

GWiMMRN, Special Reprieve from Apocalypse Bump Day Edition

I've decided to keep Old Scratch at bay for a while, in the hopes that you dooky-tasters can FOCUS on what's in my mouth and thereby redeem your otherwise worthless little selves.

I say this in love, you realize. Not contempt. The love a man might have for a dog that piddles occasionally on the carpet and humps his daughter's leg, but is still worth having around for the free snacks of dog shit it provides on a daily basis. I hope I've made myself clear.

GWiMMRN:

A) The penis money
B) The sweaty bra formerly owned by that skinny, small-titted chick I met in a club a few years back who, after getting really angry drunk, I fucked like a football tackling dummy
C) An admittedly unfair accusation
D) The delicious feeling of looking for another job every day you come into work, mingled with a soupcon of anticipation
E) The popsicle stick I fooled a homeless man into thinking was a rectal thermometer after I drew numbers on it
F) Whole wheat banana bread, the new treat at my house
G) John Elway's big, fat, toothy cock

The End of the World Is Your Fault

Today is the beginning of the END. This is your fault, you realize. I gave you plenty of opportunities to FOCUS, and you just kept throwing them away.

Nice job, asswipe. GOOD. GOING.

Still, you can at least spend our remaining time together guessing what's in my mouth right now.

A) The end of the world.
B) The big, fat cock of the ANTI-CHRIST.

That's it. G.U.E.S.S.

Monday Morning Hamburger Balls Edition of GWiMMRN

Tomorrow is the end of the world.

If you're the least bit interested in saving your pathetic little soul, you'll guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) A guy with a raging case of hamburger balls
B) The end result of the hotdog and bun method
C) Mustard Nut
D) A nice lady who unfortunately has chippytits
E) Cooking pork chops
F) A barbecue
G) A big, fat dissertative cock

GWiMMRN, The Da Vinci Code Edition

The clues are all around you, fucknuts. All you have to do is L.O.O.K.

Now, guess which The da Vinci Code actor is in my mouth right now:

A) Forrest Gump, A.K.A. the Bosom Buddy.
B) Amelie, A.K.A. Audrey Tatooine.
C) Dr. Octopus.
D) That French guy who's always in those French movies... what's his name... not the fat guy with the big nose... the other guy.
E) Gandalf.
F) Some fuckin' albino dude.
G) A big, fat, rosy cock.

UPDATE: The answer is definitely not H) A litany of surreptitious, passive aggressive, hostile acts toward humanity like farting in elevators, sneering, and quietly wishing for all of you to just go away.