Why can't you just GROW UP? Huh? GROW UP.

It's not that hard. First you GROW, then you go UP. How fucking simple is that?



My all-time bestest buddy in the whole wide world, Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN is all grown up, and he can toss a leprous chihuahua's shit-smeared salad in under thirty minutes!


And while you're doing all that GROWing UP, GWiMMRN:

A) An anonymous soapy handjob, begged for by an obviously lying African herbivore
B) Nail clippers with a crust of dried blood and pus on the blades, obviously used by someone very GROWn UP
C) A roasted prostate on a stick
D) That time where that chick who sucked like fifty guys off threw up all over the 51st, dousing him with stomach acid, bile, tequila, nacho remnants, and spooge
E) The kind of dull, obvious irony this entire post is supposed to represent
F) The 52nd guy, who later realized he wasn't going to get blown and left in a huff
G) GROW your dirty ass the fuck UP
H) A big, fat, totally mature cock


GWiMMRN: We're Back to the Fucking Basics

I'm in a better mood.

So we're back to basics: guess what's in my mouth right now.

Shitheads. Er, people.

A) A minty turkey on a BMW hood
B) Snot-blowin's
C) A good old fisting, sans lubrication
D) Rough sex with a dead chimpanzee
E) Pine nuts
F) Walnuts
G) Chin nuts
H) My undying hatred
I) A big, fat cock


A Big Creamy Ending

That's all you want out of life, isn't it? A big creamy ending.

ooo. The fucking implications.


A) My raging libido.
B) Albie the Squirrel's testicular cancer.
C) All those creamy things you shouldn't talk about in public.
D) Conan, the Cimmerian, whose crown sets heavy on his muscular fucking head.
E) A shiver intended for YOU.
F) F you.
G) A big, fat cock's creamy ending.

UPDATE: Go soak your head.


GWiMMRN, Ode to Autumn Edition

AHHH! Autumn! I just went for a nice walk through the park, the trees turning color, the air a little chilly and the world a little more beautiful.

And, of course, all I could think about was what was in my mouth at the time.

I still have those things in my mouth. It's imperative that you guess what's in there this fine autumn day:

A) A big, fat cock.
B) A big, fat cock.
C) A big, fat cock.
D) A big, fat cock.
E) Leaves.
F) A big, fat cock.
G) A big, fat cock.