GWiMMRN, Saturday Yellow Fluid Edition

Today is an easy one. The thing that is in my mouth right now is what this semi-homeless man is thinking of:


Special Friday Apple Juice/Urine Juxtaposition Edition of GWiMMRN

There are several choices, but only one mouth that matters: mine. The universe is filled with a near-infinite number of things to put in that mattering mouth. Guess which of them is in there are this moment:

A) A very special grain of sand from the Gobi Desert
B) A very large urine sample innocently carried on a public bus
C) The fragments of day-old egg I found splattered on my car this morning on the way back from the supermarket
D) The anonymous egg-thrower, who, after I'm done stomping the shit out of him/her, will make even the most jaded EMT throw up all over himself in shock and horror at his/her condition
E) Another dumb fucking romantic comedy starring a bunch of assholes I wouldn't cross the street to spit on
F) Momentary, homicidal rage followed by simple bewilderment and finally a tinge of sadness
G) Racism and misogyny, OMG!
H) The Word of the Day for Wednesday May 19, 2004
J) A big, fat CUNTCOCK


GWiMMRN, End of Civilization as You Know It Countdown Edition

On Tuesday, 06/06/06, the end of civilization will commence. Well, we've had a good run.

Note that your only chance at salvation is in FOCUSING AND I MEAN REALLY FUCKING FOCUSING on what's in my mouth right now. Focus, and thou shalt be redeemed from the barbed scalding hot cock of the Devil himself.


A) 06/06/06
B) The semi-homeless guy on the bus today that was carrying what I hope was a bottle of apple juice.
C) Satan's lost souls a-writhin' in the cauldron of HECK.
D) Temper tantrums.
E) A gentle sucking.
F) A big grinding wheel that goes around and around...
G) A big, fat barbed, scalding hot cock.

UPDATE: You won't need any sweaters where you're going.

UPDATE UPDATE: The answer may now be H) A sweaty banana.


GWiMMRN, Bump Day in the Month of May Edition

It's not going to get any better than this, so you might as well guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) A chewing gum elephant puppet, warmed just right for my solitary delight
B) SeƱor Chip Butty's request to "call me"
C) The "it's/its" problem, the "to/too" fallacy, and the overuse of ellipses
D) Rippy's cousin
E) Something undoubtedly unintended by the manufacturer
F) Another culinary delight invented by the good people who brought you the chip butty
G) A big, fat cock

UPDATE: The answer very well could be this tasty snack!


GWiMMRN, Post-Memorial Day Cock Up Edition

Right now, guess what beloved cartoon character is in my mouth.

Right now.

A) Li'l Abner.
B) The Yellow Kid, who looks like a refugee from a nuclear holocaust.
C) Rippy the Foetus, the official mascot of the pro-life movement.
D) Hagar the Fucking Horrible.
E) Dilbert.
F) Memin Pinguin.
G) The big, fat cartoon cock of Woodstock.

UPDATE: The answer may now be H) Jordan, who provided yet another example of her MERCURIAL nature by changing her blogger template yet again.


GWiMMRN, Memorial Day Edition

In addition to honoring the troops, don't forget your mystery date for the evening:


Goodbye Yellowbrick Road...

Hello... MY MOUTH!


A) A really hot day.
B) Debbie Matenopoulos, the scariest and most retarded host on the Daily 10.
C) Catt "Shitt" Sadler, who isn't too far behind ol' Debbie there in the stupid department.
D) A handburger with prickles.
F) A special place just for you and me.
G) A big, fat OMG cock.