11/27/06

GWiMMRN, Post-Thanksgiving Uncle Ned Edition

Yes, the Thanksgiving Day Fiasco 2006 was all that was cracked up to be. Truly a train-wreck of gastronomical proportions. Now, the wreckage. Guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) That Uncle Ned managed to get the whole turkey, piping hot from the oven, half-way up his ass before we caught him.
B) That after we forceably extracted the hot turkey from his bleeding and badly, badly burned rectum, we forgot which end of the turkey was up his ass.
C) Some unpleasant joking around the table about whether we were eating the "Uncle Ned" end of the turkey.
D) The blood and pubic hair all over my plate, which answered my question.
E) That all the drugs produced by Astrazeneca could not erase my memory of that Day.
F) Uncle Ned's very insincere apology, especially after he spent 45 minutes berating himself for not thinking to use the turkey gravey as a lubricant.
G) A big, fat cock.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Uncle Ned said...

bzzz I would have made it bzzzzz too if it wasn't bzzzz for you meddling bzzzz kids.

Next year bzzzz please baste the turkey bzzzz in Vaseline bzzzz.

8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had blood and pubic hair for breakfast this morning.

They were leftovers.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Superhero Professor Astro-Man said...

ZOUNDS!

I am the President, CEO, Chairman of the Board, and Chief Superhero of ASTRAZENECA, the pharmaceutical company!

With the help of my fellow Superheroes, we here at ASTRAZENECA are saving the world with PILLS! Yes! Zounds! We make the pills that make the whole world fall into a semi-sleepy stupor just so's they can manage their worthless lives!

ZOUNDS!

10:48 AM  

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