GWiMMRN, I've Returned for You Edition

The "Patron Saint" may have hacked this website to try to make it his own, but he proved himself to be particularly stupid in his choice of passwords. "GROW UP" is not an acceptable password, and I guessed it on the first try. Anyway, I've come back from my long trip to let you know what may be in my mouth right now. Your sacred duty is to guess what it is:

A) Trail mix with tasty little bits of dried dogpoop
B) Blibdoolpoolp
C) The Holiday Inn Indoor Pool, now containing an unacceptably high urine-to-water ratio thanks to my insistence that it was a personal commode
D) The sweaty, hairy, appallingly smelly hillbilly I was forced to sit next to on the plane home, complete with yellowed tank top, dirty jeans, and suspenders
E) The horrible realization I came to, once I saw who I'd be sitting next to on the airplane, that there really is a God, but He truly despises me and wishes me ill
F) Sunburn
G) A chilled glass of Hefeweizen with a nice slice of lemon floating in it
H) A big, fat blistery cock