GWiMMRN, I Know Who You Are Edition

I know who you are. Oh yes, I do. You're sitting there, not focusing, poking away on your keyboard like a fat little pigeon. I've got your number.

So, while you're here, GWiMMRN:

A) The immortal words, "This town needs an enema!" *fweeeeee*
B) The not-so immortal words, "And why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."
C) Hot white gobs and strings, or why I never eat mayonnaise, cheese sauce, or anything whitish and goopy
D) Thomas Fries, or why the internet really really should be regulated for content or at least given a rating of some kind by a responsible governmental organization if there is such a thing
E) Two good friends
F) Two other good friends, one of whom is very shy
G) A big, fat unregulated cock

UPDATE: The answer might perhaps be H) Two more good friends:

GWiMMRN, Epic Proportions Edition

GIGANTIC. It is a word usually reserved to describe my penis, but now, it refers to the things that may or may not be in my mouth right now. Guess:

A) A sudden change in the Earth's orbit as a result of the fart I cut in bed last night.
B) The Golden Age of My Balls.
C) A minor in physics and a major in chemistry, if you follow my drift.
D) Huge balloons.
E) Huge melons.
F) A big, fat cock.

The Miserable Bee Says, "Slap me! GWiHmRN!"

Listen to the miserable bee. Slap him. And guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) The ancient form of Chinese divination known as the I SPOOGE
B) Wienerschnitzel
C) Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor of California
D) The Artist Formerly Known as the Cheese Collecting on My Dingus
E) The real Pirates of the Caribbean
F) A big, fat, salty sea-dog's cock

Cherish Me, Suck Me

When you've drunk your fill of piss-infested Holiday Inn pool-waters, then you can talk to me. Until then, cherish me and my insanity:

GWiMMRN:

A) That stank ass air they got in the tube leading from the airport proper to the airplane proper.
B) That new airport security machine they got that looks like the Dr. Who telephone booth where you step in and get felt up by short blasts of air all up you body.
C) The pleasant, yet firm voice of the Dr. Who Airport Security Booth described in Letter B, that tells you "You may now exit," but I heard "You may now excrete," and so I evacuated my bowels all over the floor of the machine.
D) That next time, I'm going to remove my pants and underwear before going into the Dr. Who Airport Security Booth for a proper blast of air up my chafed anus.
E) The cell-phone I set to vibrate and have strapped around the underside of my enormous cock.
F) The many, many telephone calls I make to myself throughout the day from my other cell phone.
G) The messages I leave for myself, like, "Hey, how's that feel?" and "Grow up."
H) My being tired and losing patience with all of you non-Focusing retarts.
I) A big, fat hill-billy cock.