Yeah. Oh, oh wow...


Guess what's in my mouth right now...

Before...before I...

Oh boy...

A) The murmured words, "Good baby...nice baby...keep that up, baby...oh God, baby...fuck yeah...oh, man...get ready...I'm...gonna...I'm gonna...it's gonna happen...I'm...I'm GONNA SHIT!" *FRIPPPPPTTTPTPTPTPTPPPSSSRRRPPTTPTPTPT!!!!*
B) A blumpkin
C) A form of communication that should've been regulated for content long ago, mostly because of the disgusting antics of some sick fuck who shouldn't be allowed to communicate with anyone
D) A soapy sponge tied to a stick
E) The father of the bride
F) The adorable little ass hairs writhing sensuously around the bride's chocolate starfish
G) That nice cuntfaced lady who runs the laundromat
H) The big, fat cock that you can't stop thinking about

UPDATE: *ungh ungh ungh*


GWiMMRN, Half Way House Edition

Let's meet life... "Half-way."

Guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) Full House.
B) Half Way House.
C) All the Way House.
D) First Base House.
D) Second Base House.
E) Third base with a big fat cock.


GWiMMRN, Guest Poster Edition on the 501

As Jesus Q. Fucknuts would say, "*SPPPPUUUURRRTTT!!* *friipppt!* *frrpt* *PFT!* *spurrrrt!* *spuurrrrrrt!* *BELCH!* *BELCH!* *BELCH!* *prrtt!* *frpt!* *ungh ungh ungh!* *uhee!* *heighughiee!* *spurrt* *spurrrt* *sprt* *frrpt*"

I've got a frequent non-focusing commenter in my mouth right now. If this commenter was me, instead of me being me, he'd have things in his mouth. Guess who it is, from his choices:

A) A spoonful of Metamucil mixed into his Alpo
B) A failing grade in "Taking a Shit 101"
C) Unrelenting mockery, culminating in a popular homespun expression that does not apply
D) The a priori knowledge of how to take a shit, which this individual was not born with
E) Utter confusion about one of the most elementary things in existence
F) A D- on the final exam of the remedial summer school class, "THIS IS HOW YOU TAKE A SHIT"
G) A lot of wiggling around without any result
H) A life of quiet desperation
I) A big, fat cock that at least knows how to urinate


Holy Jesus Q. Fucknuts! It's the *sppppuuurrrtttt!!* 500th GWiMMRN Post!!

*SPPPPUUUURRRTTT!!* *friipppt!* *frrpt* *PFT!* *spurrrrt!* *spuurrrrrrt!* *BELCH!* *BELCH!* *BELCH!* *prrtt!* *frpt!* *ungh ungh ungh!* *uhee!* *heighughiee!* *spurrt* *spurrrt* *sprt* *frrpt* GWiMMRN!

A) 500 turds dogpiled on Abraham Lincoln's grave.
B) 500 cubic quarts of man-custard doused on a fetid creme broulee.
C) 500 genitalia of various shapes, sizes, and smells.
D) 500 jokes about things most people wouldn't find funny if they said out-loud.
E) 500 dick, vagina, gross-out, gross-in, puke, saline-injected testicle, absurd, creepy, nasty, sick sick sick sick internet jokes.
F) 500 hours of wasted time, which translates into three solid weeks straight of time you could have spent making the world a better place, but didn't because you were too busy enjoying perverted attempts at humor wrapped in a demented freak's oral obsession.
G) 500 big fat cocks slapping you so hard you fell out of your seat and broke your coxal bone (not really).