7/17/06

The Miserable Bee Says, "Slap me! GWiHmRN!"

Listen to the miserable bee. Slap him. And guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) The ancient form of Chinese divination known as the I SPOOGE
B) Wienerschnitzel
C) Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor of California
D) The Artist Formerly Known as the Cheese Collecting on My Dingus
E) The real Pirates of the Caribbean
F) A big, fat, salty sea-dog's cock

16 Comments:

Anonymous Les Miserables Bees said...

I am incredulous at the fact that I have to take time out of my busy day to redress the slander, lies, and outright libel that parades as truth on this website.

I am miserable because I am slapped around all the time. By everyone. At all times of the day. Even when I'm asleep in my lil' honeycomb.

I do not want anyone slapping me anymore. Thus, I NEVER said "Slap me! GwiHmrn!"

Thank you.

9:25 AM  
Anonymous Arnold Schwarzenegger said...

I may be governor of California but I certainly do NOT represent those scrotum inflating morons out there in Berkeley.

Is this...? (at this point Arnold Schwarzenegger taps the microphone in front of him and the sound is cut.)

9:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Arrrr mateys! I'm the capn' crunch of the Good Ship Lollypop! We be sailing for grammar textbooks! We be Pirates of the Carri-peein'!

Arrrrr.

Yeah.

Heh heh.

Well, take it easy.

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aww, it's such a shame. It's like they don't know what to say to each oth-

Oh, fuck it.

Pirates are ALL 'mos.

All of them.

10:33 AM  
Anonymous A. Miserable Bee Slapper said...

Don't make me slap you again, you miserable little stinging fuck.

All this whining is WHY we slap you. So stop it.

Cheer up: in another universe, you're a miserable mop boy in a Bangkok peepshow, being endlessly slapped by the cocks of wealthy men.

10:36 AM  
Anonymous A. German said...

I slap miserable bees sometimes.

When I'm alone.

And when the bees look like Jews.

10:37 AM  
Anonymous Star Jones said...

Once again, I have to take time out of my busy schedule to address THE FILTH spewing out of this website.

I do NOT look like a shriveled horse testicle. I had a medical intervention that somehow made my face look like a shriveled horse testicle.

I'm glad we could clear that up.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The second sentence in the second paragraph seems to directly contradict the first sentence; i.e., "I don't look like a horse testicle" and "my face looks like a horse testicle."

It's clear that you're ambivalent about the fact that you bear an unfortunate and uncanny resemblance to equine testicles.

If I were you, I'd drop it. Drop it like a hot horse ball.

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Cheese Collector said...

I understand you have a delivery?

I pay by the kilogram, you know.

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's no delivery here you sick fuck.

YOU. SICK. FUCK.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Star Jones said...

*sigh*

I do not know how much more clear I can make it.

I do NOT look like a shriveled horse testicle. I had a medical intervention, okay? And after the medical intervention, okay? Afterwards, I look like a shriveled horse testicle. Okay?

But I do not look like a shriveled horse testicle.

Perhaps if you practiced I SPOOGE more often, you'd know the difference in what it is that I am saying now.

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, did that guy stop shitting all over your upstairs bathroom? You know... at work?

I... I need closure on that.

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope I'm not alone in wondering what, exactly, Star Jones-Reynolds is trying to say.

Bottom line: she looks like a shriveled horse testicle. Even Barbara Walters said it.

I really think she should drop it. We're pretty much talking over each other here. There are horse testicles, and there is Star Jones, and the two look a hell of a lot alike.

Star, let's just agree to disagree, you shriveled horse testicle-looking broad, you.

1:55 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

I don't know what you're talking about.

FOCUS.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous A. Horse Testicle said...

I think that this little "joke" has run its course, don't you?

Or, as we say in my native language, "O.k. PE CINE VOI VRETI SA VORBITI!?!?!?!!!!!!"

Multumesc!

1:58 PM  
Anonymous A. Eastern European Man said...

Meat pierogi.

Dats all I got to say.

2:41 PM  

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