GWiMMRN, I've Returned for You Edition
The "Patron Saint" may have hacked this website to try to make it his own, but he proved himself to be particularly stupid in his choice of passwords. "GROW UP" is not an acceptable password, and I guessed it on the first try. Anyway, I've come back from my long trip to let you know what may be in my mouth right now. Your sacred duty is to guess what it is:
A) Trail mix with tasty little bits of dried dogpoop
B) Blibdoolpoolp
C) The Holiday Inn Indoor Pool, now containing an unacceptably high urine-to-water ratio thanks to my insistence that it was a personal commode
D) The sweaty, hairy, appallingly smelly hillbilly I was forced to sit next to on the plane home, complete with yellowed tank top, dirty jeans, and suspenders
E) The horrible realization I came to, once I saw who I'd be sitting next to on the airplane, that there really is a God, but He truly despises me and wishes me ill
F) Sunburn
G) A chilled glass of Hefeweizen with a nice slice of lemon floating in it
H) A big, fat blistery cock
A) Trail mix with tasty little bits of dried dogpoop
B) Blibdoolpoolp
C) The Holiday Inn Indoor Pool, now containing an unacceptably high urine-to-water ratio thanks to my insistence that it was a personal commode
D) The sweaty, hairy, appallingly smelly hillbilly I was forced to sit next to on the plane home, complete with yellowed tank top, dirty jeans, and suspenders
E) The horrible realization I came to, once I saw who I'd be sitting next to on the airplane, that there really is a God, but He truly despises me and wishes me ill
F) Sunburn
G) A chilled glass of Hefeweizen with a nice slice of lemon floating in it
H) A big, fat blistery cock
posted by My Mouth at 7:11 AM
6 Comments:
You were hacked? I've heard that happening a lot latey. Scary stuff.
I like A.
Just because.
Have a narly weekend
This is Your Captain speaking.
We've reached cruising altitude of 35,000 feet, expecting a smooth ride all the way to our destination. Glad to have you on board.
By the way, we'd like to note that we'll be letting that smelly, disgusting hill-billy to be flying the plane for the rest of the trip.
Thank you for flying with us. We'll talk again when we land, one way or another.
Huh yup!
We've come a LONG way since the beginning of flight, when people used to wear formal, nice clothes and treated plane rides as something special.
I'd like to let you know that I've been pissing and shitting all over myself since I sat down.
Thank you.
That's MY ass in that sunbirn picture.
You know, when you sign consent forms in the doctor's office, you have NO IDEA that they would place those medical pictures of you on the internet, for some sickos to use.
I really had no idea.
Yes, I posted those pictures of your sunburned ass all over the internet. Got 50 bucks for 'em.
I'd like to note that any yahoo who doesn't know the difference between "sunbirn" and "sunburn" deserves all the humiliation in the world heaped upon them.
"Suck it."
It's not that I hate you, it is that you've been a continual disappointment from Day One.
Heed the words of My messenger, and "Grow Up."
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