3/19/06

GWiMMRN, FUCK Jesus and Everything Else That Is Holy Sunday Edition

My ballsack has more focusing power and dairy potential than the lot of you combined. That's fucking PATHETIC. To avoid becoming a total waste of skin and a load that rightly should've been swallowed, TRY to guess what's in my mouth right now, huh. These are all the things I'll be dealing with today, except for one:

A) The Sunday Afternoon Blues, when the fun of the weekend wears off and you realize you'll have to wake up tomorrow morning and deal with the whole rest of the fucking week
B) Chili and tortillas
C) An infected sinus
D) ON-DEMAND Movies
E) Tasty Kebabs: chunks of barbecued bloody Kotex alternating between gobbets of cat shit, baby rectums, and slices of YOUR MOTHER on a splintery wooden cocoa plunger
F) Snow
G) Muscle aches
H) My ballsack
I) A big, fat CUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-HOCK

20 Comments:

Anonymous Your Sinus said...

I resent being essentialized as "infected." You must respect my right for self-determination, which also includes naming myself. I prefer to be called a Sinus with Disability Challenges. Thank you.

Celebrate by diversity, you fuck-mongerer you.

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH BOY! CHILI AND TORTILLAS!

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got the Sunday Afternoon Blues. It's usually right after the Saturday Night All Night Drinking and Drowning in Infected Pussy Blues and right before the Monday Morning I'm Fired for Fucking the Boss' Wife Too Hard in the Ass Saturday Night Blues.

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That sure is a lot of blues.

12:27 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

An infected sinus doesn't have any rights. NONE.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Señor Chip Butty said...

Hey, mang! I like the tortillas an' chili too, mang!

Hola, como estas, bbbbrrrrooooo?

Gracias!

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Senor Chip Butty Fan Club said...

YOU'RE A STAR, SEN~OER CHEEP BUTTEEE!!

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My ballsack aches. Does that mean it has muscles? Can I rub BEN-GAY in it to make my ballsack feel better?

Huh?

Hellloooo?

Anybody out there?

Huh. Guess everyone left.

It's just me, then. Alone.

*yank yank yank*

*ungh ungh ungh*

*uheee!*

*spppurrrrttt!*

*fwew!*

Hey, somebody gonna clean this up?

Huh?

Helllooo? Anybody home?

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my LORD! I think somebody jerked off in here! That's so disgusting! ICK! There's a pile of man-custard in here! Somebody clean this up, for crying out loud!

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holee Moses! That guy's right! Somebody just ran a batch right here! This is awful! Somebody... get a mop or something. Ugh.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! Mouth! Somebody jerked off all over the comments section to this post! You gonna do something about that, huh? It's starting to smell bad!

I'm sickened!

12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ewwwww! What the hell happened in here?

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some yahoo jerked off all over the place. We're waiting for Mouth to clean it up.

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yuck. That's just sick. Some people have no respect for others.

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah. As soon as we find out who did it, we're gonna beat the crap out of him. Teach him a lesson he'll never forget.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, count me in. A man can't just run off a batch anywhere he pleases. We got RULES to follow. You know?

1:02 PM  
Blogger Señor Chip Butty said...

Hey, mang! Choo chust can't shoot mang-putty all over the place when choo wanna, mang!

Bbbbrrrroooooooooooooo!

Muchas gracias!

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah! That fucking talking sandwich is right!

1:57 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

FOCUS.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! You gonna clean up this mess or what?

2:25 PM  

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