6/2/06

Special Friday Apple Juice/Urine Juxtaposition Edition of GWiMMRN

There are several choices, but only one mouth that matters: mine. The universe is filled with a near-infinite number of things to put in that mattering mouth. Guess which of them is in there are this moment:

A) A very special grain of sand from the Gobi Desert
B) A very large urine sample innocently carried on a public bus
C) The fragments of day-old egg I found splattered on my car this morning on the way back from the supermarket
D) The anonymous egg-thrower, who, after I'm done stomping the shit out of him/her, will make even the most jaded EMT throw up all over himself in shock and horror at his/her condition
E) Another dumb fucking romantic comedy starring a bunch of assholes I wouldn't cross the street to spit on
F) Momentary, homicidal rage followed by simple bewilderment and finally a tinge of sadness
G) Racism and misogyny, OMG!
H) The Word of the Day for Wednesday May 19, 2004
I) A CUNT
J) A big, fat CUNTCOCK

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I was Jennifer Aniston, I think I'd be feeling a little used, a little cheap and dirty. Kind of like a bad taste in one's mouth.

I'm so alone.

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Juan Valdez said...

Hey mang! I'm a doyen bbbrrrrroooooo!

Buy my cofe, mang!

PUTA!

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think you should get mad at the egg "thrower."

It innocently slipped out of my grocery bag and landed on your automobile.

There are other things that come out of a chiken's ass that I could have thrown at your car, but I chose not to.

That makes me a GOOD person. For what I DIDN'T throw.

8:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHy did that homeliss dude carry his own urine anyway?

8:47 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Nobody in this world is judged on the merits of what he didn't throw.

FOCUS, you egg-throwing DINGUSLICKER.

9:12 AM  
Blogger SeƱor Chip Butty said...

Hey, mang!

Juan, choo are un grande puto, mang! How's chor mama, bbbbrrrrrrrrooo?

I sing all the hits, mang!

Como estas, bbrroooo hoo?

Gracias!

9:13 AM  
Anonymous The Semi-Homeless Guy said...

Look.

I am getting pretty upset that you people are besmirching my name with this accusation about me carrying around a bottle of my own urine on a public bus.

For what is probably not going to be the last time, it was APPLE JUICE, not urine. NOT urine. I think it's sickening that you think I carry around sample bottles of my own precious, golden urine. I would not treat my urine that way.

My urine isn't to be just carried around on buses for the delectation of sick freaks like yourself.

Just GROW UP already.

It wasn't urine.

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I...

I drink urine.

Sometimes.

When I'm alone.

Brother, can you spare a litre of urine? You carry that urine jar with you like some golden trophy given to you by Zeus Himself. It twinkles in the early morn.

Give us a sip.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous The Semi-Homeless Guy said...

Why do you INSIST that what I must have been carrying was a bottle of my own urine?

It was APPLE JUICE. Just APPLE JUICE. Not the clear, sweet nectar of my bladder that others call urine. I wouldn't carry that around. Not my very own urine.

Enough talking about my urine already. Stop it. My urine is nobody's business except mine. Talk about your own substandard urine.

And just GROW UP a little. Leave my wonderful urine out of this, you sicko.

1:22 PM  

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