6/1/06

GWiMMRN, End of Civilization as You Know It Countdown Edition

On Tuesday, 06/06/06, the end of civilization will commence. Well, we've had a good run.

Note that your only chance at salvation is in FOCUSING AND I MEAN REALLY FUCKING FOCUSING on what's in my mouth right now. Focus, and thou shalt be redeemed from the barbed scalding hot cock of the Devil himself.

GWiMMRN:

A) 06/06/06
B) The semi-homeless guy on the bus today that was carrying what I hope was a bottle of apple juice.
C) Satan's lost souls a-writhin' in the cauldron of HECK.
D) Temper tantrums.
E) A gentle sucking.
F) A big grinding wheel that goes around and around...
G) A big, fat barbed, scalding hot cock.

UPDATE: You won't need any sweaters where you're going.

UPDATE UPDATE: The answer may now be H) A sweaty banana.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Ash said...

me too!

6:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me too what?

7:09 AM  
Anonymous The Semi-Homeless Guy said...

Yes, it was apple juice.

What the heck did you think it was? Did you think it was urine? Is that what you thought? Urine? Just because I'm semi-homeless, I'd be carrying around a bottle of urine?

What the hell is the matter with you? Have some decency, for God's sake.

GROW UP.

7:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, goody! I hate having to go where it's cold.

I take it Heaven's nice and warm, like a tropical island?

7:13 AM  
Blogger Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...

Muh-muh-muh-m-m-m-m-mmm-mmmm!-muh-muhhh-me tuh-t-t-t-t-t-tt-tuhhh-too!

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Chef Gordon Ramsay said...

Get back to your station!

You're cooking like a complete twaat!

You have a palate like a cow's backside.

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think anybody who read even one word on this website, even by accident, has an appointment with Satan.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous A. Louima said...

After getting raped with a plunger by the NYPD, sucking a big, fat, barbed, scalding hot cock can't be so bad.

Ohhhhhhhhh boy.

8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell does "semi-" homeless mean?

And why would he be carrying a gallon of his own urine? It just doesn't make sense.

8:40 AM  
Anonymous The Real Abner Louima said...

Sort of like my all-time best friend Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN, I have a little bit of time to respond to the false statement attributed to me above.

I only said "Ohhhhh, boy" once in my life, and that was when they rammed the plunger in.

I did not say it at any other time.

However, I have said "GROW UP" several times in my life, and I'm about to now.

Ready?

GROW UP.

Thank you.

1:59 PM  
Anonymous The Semi-homeless Guy said...

*sigh*

Once again, I am called upon to respond to a false statement. Once again, I am FORCED by the sick individuals on this website to rebut an incorrect allegation made about my person.

For the record, what I was carrying was apple juice. I honestly cannot believe that some disturbed person here believes that I was carrying around a bottle of my own urine.

I do not carry around bottles of urine or jars of urine or even cans of urine. That's something only a truly diseased individual would assume, that I was carrying a bottle of my own urine.

Sick, sick, sick.

It's like you people haven't grown up or something. You should. You should GROW UP.

What's the matter with you? Why would you think that I was carrying around a bottle of my own urine? Why? Why would you do that?

Why?

Urine?

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anybody want to read my Godzilla fan fiction?

2:06 PM  
Anonymous ehe semmy homeliss dude said...

ehe i-i- am a hoemliss dude spar sum change an i wunt to make sweet love to your sons and daughters ehe ehe an i carry apple juice containers that dont hav appel juice in them but actually they hav my urine ehe heh ehe sapr sum change

2:11 PM  
Anonymous FanBoy said...

Seriously, though. Doesn't anyone want to read my Godzilla fan fiction?

It's really good.

6:12 AM  
Anonymous The Semi-Homeless Guy said...

No, I most definitely do NOT want to read your fan fiction. I have better things to do with my time, like rebutting false claims about the carrying of urine.

I cannot believe that you continue to maintain the charade that I carry around bottles of my own urine just because I appear to be semi-homeless.

I occasionally have to urinate but I do not hold onto the urine once I've urinated it out. That would be sick.

What kind of sick man would think I carry around my own urine?

Urine is not whay I was carrying on the bus. It was apple juice, not urine.

What's WRONG with you?

Urine.

6:27 AM  

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