GWiMMRN, Guest Poster Edition on the 501
As Jesus Q. Fucknuts would say, "*SPPPPUUUURRRTTT!!* *friipppt!* *frrpt* *PFT!* *spurrrrt!* *spuurrrrrrt!* *BELCH!* *BELCH!* *BELCH!* *prrtt!* *frpt!* *ungh ungh ungh!* *uhee!* *heighughiee!* *spurrt* *spurrrt* *sprt* *frrpt*"
I've got a frequent non-focusing commenter in my mouth right now. If this commenter was me, instead of me being me, he'd have things in his mouth. Guess who it is, from his choices:
A) A spoonful of Metamucil mixed into his Alpo
B) A failing grade in "Taking a Shit 101"
C) Unrelenting mockery, culminating in a popular homespun expression that does not apply
D) The a priori knowledge of how to take a shit, which this individual was not born with
E) Utter confusion about one of the most elementary things in existence
F) A D- on the final exam of the remedial summer school class, "THIS IS HOW YOU TAKE A SHIT"
G) A lot of wiggling around without any result
H) A life of quiet desperation
I) A big, fat cock that at least knows how to urinate
I've got a frequent non-focusing commenter in my mouth right now. If this commenter was me, instead of me being me, he'd have things in his mouth. Guess who it is, from his choices:
A) A spoonful of Metamucil mixed into his Alpo
B) A failing grade in "Taking a Shit 101"
C) Unrelenting mockery, culminating in a popular homespun expression that does not apply
D) The a priori knowledge of how to take a shit, which this individual was not born with
E) Utter confusion about one of the most elementary things in existence
F) A D- on the final exam of the remedial summer school class, "THIS IS HOW YOU TAKE A SHIT"
G) A lot of wiggling around without any result
H) A life of quiet desperation
I) A big, fat cock that at least knows how to urinate
posted by My Mouth at 4:45 AM
8 Comments:
I would like to commend GWiMMRN for the proper use of the philosophical term "a priori."
We need more high minded scholarly content on blogs. GWiMMRN is doing it's part.
How about you?
Boy, that's one dumb dog.
Don't drag me down with the rest of the cretins eviscerated on this sick excuse for a website.
I'm a high minded scholar, not like that dumb dog.
Or Robert Frost, for that matter.
I AM doing my part.
How about you?
Care to respond, fffffffffuckffffface?
Does anyone know how many f's were used in the previous comment?
*tp* *tp*
Hm. It seems like...
*tp* *tp*
I think someone...
*tp* *tp* *tp*
Someone slipped M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C., that pussy-flavored drink you add milk to like Ovaltine into my morning coffee!
*tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp*
This is digusting.
*tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp*
Definitely M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C.
*tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp* *tp*
Yuck.
*tp*
I know that this isn't really about me, but I can sure use some help.
The stink wafting off of my smelly, smelly penis is indescribable. I can barely breathe, and my eyes are so red and swollen from the fumes that I've gone quite literally blind.
All I want to do is sing the Canadian national anthem, and I can't do it because my penis stinks so bad.
Please, just wash it. You can wear gloves if you have to. You can glue a soapy sponge to a stick and wash it that way.
Just...just help me out here.
I give up...please just once can you give us the answer. :(
The answer is OBVIOUS.
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