Holy Jesus Q. Fucknuts! It's the *sppppuuurrrtttt!!* 500th GWiMMRN Post!!

*SPPPPUUUURRRTTT!!* *friipppt!* *frrpt* *PFT!* *spurrrrt!* *spuurrrrrrt!* *BELCH!* *BELCH!* *BELCH!* *prrtt!* *frpt!* *ungh ungh ungh!* *uhee!* *heighughiee!* *spurrt* *spurrrt* *sprt* *frrpt* GWiMMRN!

A) 500 turds dogpiled on Abraham Lincoln's grave.
B) 500 cubic quarts of man-custard doused on a fetid creme broulee.
C) 500 genitalia of various shapes, sizes, and smells.
D) 500 jokes about things most people wouldn't find funny if they said out-loud.
E) 500 dick, vagina, gross-out, gross-in, puke, saline-injected testicle, absurd, creepy, nasty, sick sick sick sick internet jokes.
F) 500 hours of wasted time, which translates into three solid weeks straight of time you could have spent making the world a better place, but didn't because you were too busy enjoying perverted attempts at humor wrapped in a demented freak's oral obsession.
G) 500 big fat cocks slapping you so hard you fell out of your seat and broke your coxal bone (not really).


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, G) really happened to me.

I know it's all a big joke to you, but it's not funny.

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I couldn't get past the first few lines of this post without laughing hysterically.


Ha ha ha!

Here's to another 500 gigantic wastes of time, and hopefully, 500 investigations by the FBI for abuse of the internet.

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a lot of man-custard.

I liked creme brulee until this post. The crack of the sugar crust, the creamy goodness inside...now it's ruined.

I originally stopped reading at the kitten post. Then the racism. Then the offense at O.L.A.S.J.H.C. Now it's creme brulee.

I'm sorry.

You've lost a reader here.

For good.

9:04 AM  
Anonymous Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint of GWiMMRN" said...


"I just wanted to take time out of my horrendously busy schedule to rebut some false allegations about me."

"Because, in reality, I don't have time to respond to all of these false statements."

"But you knew that."

"Anyway, I've been reading this sickening excuse for a blog for weeks now, and noticed that I've only been mentioned a few times."

"I'd take it to mean that you've taken my advice and 'grown up,' but I know in my heart that this is not the case."

"So just grow up."


"Congratulations on the 500th Post."

"Even though it means that you haven't 'grown up.'"

"So you can just gobble on my ass cheeks all day long."


"That's all I've got to say."

"If I had more time, I'd tell you to 'grow up,' but I don't have any time at all."

"Things are now not being done because I'm telling you that I don't have the time to tell you to 'grow up.'"

"So grow up."


9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deroy Murdock fathered my baby and my baby refuses to grow up.

I should add that I am a pre-op tranny who likes chocolate ice cream, longs walks on the beach, and fisting pensioners at the local retirement home.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I... I can't believe how much time I've wasted on this.


11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To that guy who broke that hip bone or whatever;


Yeah. You just GAINED a reader for that one! Hee hee!


11:02 AM  

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