10/5/06

GWiMMRN, I'M GONNA SHOOT MY GOO! Edition

Ohhh...

Mmmm...

Yeah. Oh, oh wow...

Guess...

Guess what's in my mouth right now...

Before...before I...

Oh boy...

A) The murmured words, "Good baby...nice baby...keep that up, baby...oh God, baby...fuck yeah...oh, man...get ready...I'm...gonna...I'm gonna...it's gonna happen...I'm...I'm GONNA SHIT!" *FRIPPPPPTTTPTPTPTPTPPPSSSRRRPPTTPTPTPT!!!!*
B) A blumpkin
C) A form of communication that should've been regulated for content long ago, mostly because of the disgusting antics of some sick fuck who shouldn't be allowed to communicate with anyone
D) A soapy sponge tied to a stick
E) The father of the bride
F) The adorable little ass hairs writhing sensuously around the bride's chocolate starfish
G) That nice cuntfaced lady who runs the laundromat
H) The big, fat cock that you can't stop thinking about

UPDATE: *ungh ungh ungh*

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never heard of this "Internet" before.

What is it? And can I see sexually explicit pictures of women on it?

8:26 AM  
Anonymous cuntfaced lady said...

I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A CUNT!!

YOUR LAUNDRY IS READY FOR PICK-UP!!!

NO RECEIPT, NO LAUNDRY, FUCKFACE!!!!

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Herr Professor Umusst Smeldafahrt said...

Ya!

You use the soap like so...

rub it on the waterbuck's stinky peepee like so...

Ya. Then you shoot yourself out of sheer disgust.

Good. Very, very good.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Blumpkin Recipient said...

I don't see what's so disgusting about a blumpkin.

I really don't.

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be awful if feces came out of that guy's cock instead of semen?

I hate this website.

It's disgusting.

Blumpkiners.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That guy purporting to be some sort of professor probably isn't one.

I really doubt that college professors would talk about animal penises, let alone give instructions on how to wash them and subsequently commit suicide.

Of course, that bushbuck's penis really could use a good scrubbing. I can smell it from here! It's horrible!

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, I haven't thought of that big, fat cock in at least five minutes.

Of course, now that I mentioned it, I'm thinking about it right now! Ha ha!

Isn't the human mind amazing?!

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Herr Professor Umusst Smeldafahrt said...

Ya, I really exist. I am a real professor here at Gaseous University in TrubblewitmyBowels, Germany, a kilometer from Ffahrtenoffften.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, the human mind is NOT amazing.

It can't be amazing if it can come up with this awful, one-stop-shopping-for-sick-minds website.

I hate this website.

I hate it.

10:36 AM  
Anonymous John F. Kennedy said...

Ich ein bin Blumpkiner.

10:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was ready to forgive the kitten thing.

And the racism thing.

And the Jesus thing.

And the thing about the penis, or whatever it was. I forget.

But this...making fun of blumpkins and...and the bride's chocolate starfish...it's it.

It's the last straw.

I'm sorry, but you've lost a reader.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Blumpkins 'r' Us said...

oh, man...get ready...I'm...gonna...I'm gonna...it's gonna happen...I'm...I'm GONNA SHIT!

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why?

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Blumpkins 'r' Us said...

It...it doesn't...it doesn't matter I...I'm gonna...
I'M GONNA TAKE A SHIT!

AAAAAHHHHHHOOOOOEEEEEEEEE!!!

12:03 PM  
Blogger Eugene said...

Why have you abandoned me, my Lord?

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Miner said...

Hey fuck you!

BOOM!

1:34 PM  
Anonymous Another miner said...

Fuck me? Fuck YOU!

BOOM!

1:35 PM  

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