2/28/06

GWiMMRN, Anustastin' Mardi Gras Edition

In New Orleans, it's Mardi Gras. I understand that it's a gigantic street party where sweaty people get drunk, throw up, and shout "SHOW US YOUR TITS!" to promiscuous, unattractive college girls. And there're beads. It's also rumored that Annie Potts plans to gorge herself on spooch, bio back-spatter pancakes, and Spermarang Surprise from today all the way through Lent. The seminal Atkins Diet, so to speak. All this, however, doesn't mean SHIT. What DOES mean SHIT is what's in my mouth right now. Guess:

A) The two golden labs that live in the back yard of the house on the corner and wag their tails when I drive by and wave to them
B) Hot buttermilk sprayed from Annie Potts's floppy funbags
C) Spongy chunks of bitten-off ass-flesh from a dead man's crack
D) The vague feeling that there may be no more lines to cross, and that this site may have offended everyone it can
E) A hood ornament
F) The dreaded words, "My woung--my woung ich kaup ih yor wing."
G) More Boyz n the Hood
H) A big, fat cock effervescing with buttery white wine

9 Comments:

Anonymous Bus Bwuh Wha? Huh? said...

Here.

Here are.

Huh?

Your turtles?

Wha? Huh?

Turtles eating.

Your salad.

What?

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know where you find these stories, but that one will haunt me until the day I die.

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is, uh, the dairy potential of those two golden labs?

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT QUOTE Anustastin'ENDQUOTE MEANS STOP PLEASE ELUCIDATE STOP TELL ME ABOUT THAT DUMP WHILE YOU'RE AT IT STOP

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Drunk College Girl at Mardi Gras said...

Here are my ugly tits that even my doctor doesn't want to seeeeeeeeee!

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Drunk College Girl's Doctor said...

She's right. I DON'T want to see them. My GOD. The last time she showed them to me, I foreswore my Hippocratic oath and tried to slice 'em off with garden shears.

Brrrrrr!

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Leave the doggies alone!

And I still have no fuggin' idea what "dairy potential" is.

9:47 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Why is it that everyone knows what "Anustastin'" means but you? Are you some kind of fucking retard or something?

Are you?

Huh?

Don't like the way you're being treated? Good.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Dead Man said...

My ass crack demands an explanation for this heinous attack on my spongy person.

*fffrrrpppttt*

Yes. I know. I'm dead and I'm farting. Big Deal. Get over it.

GROW UP.

2:02 PM  

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