2/22/06

GWiMMRN, Bio Back-Spatter Bump Day Edition

A day without bio back-spatter is like a day without sunshine, that's what I always say. It's also why I wash my balls like fifteen times a day. Remember when GWiMMRN used to do "editions," like some fucking magazine or something? Yeah. Those were the days. Huh? No, I don't know what the fuck I'm saying, either. I've got something in my mouth, though. Guess what it is and win a free bundle of bio back-spatter bagels with butter:

A) Itchy Penis bread
B) The exact reason why this blog was started: a deconstruction of the theme of online diaries told in a humorous, albeit sickeningly tasteless fashion
C) A milkshake consisting of blended opossum shit, chunks of suet, and the little leavings from Dr. Alter's labia majora remodelings so that it's not a milkshake at all, but something truly revolting
D) A large, unsightly pubic fat deposit
E) A picture of the time I stuck my erect penis into the corner Blockbuster Video "Return Slot" and asked, "ANYONE SEEN THIS? IT'S PRETTY FUCKING GOOD! LOTS OF SPECIAL EFFECTS!"
F) A big, fat opossum cock

B.F. UPDATE: It may just be G) Deroy Murdock, or it might not.

EVEN B.F UPDATE: "Grow up."

10 Comments:

Anonymous Blockbuster Employees said...

Did you rewind? You are so kind.

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Guy with His Dick in the Video Return Slot said...

I GOT YOUR LATE FEES RIGHT HEEEERRRE!!! *sppppuurrrtttt!*

BWAH HAH HA HAH HA HA HAAAA!

9:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some milkshakes contain zero milk. If you substitute soy for the chunks of suet, you'd get a fairly tasty result.

If you like the taste of your own vomit, that is.

Then again, even if you DID vomit, you wouldn't taste it, because the opossum shit would drown out any other flavour.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Philosopher Newport said...

why o-possum?

jed clampett just used to say "possum".

i'm scared.

9:36 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Is everyone FOCUSING?

10:17 AM  
Anonymous Dr. Alter to a Potential Labia Majora Reconstruction Patient said...

I've seen ugly cunts in my time, but yours takes the CAKE, lady! Holy fuck! If I look at it any longer I'll turn to stone! It's like the Holocaust in there!

Aaaaaaa!!

I think I can help you.

10:20 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Who do you think you are, that pre-op tranny lola? FLAVOR DOESN'T HAVE A "U" IN IT.

Repeat after me: there is no "u" in flavor. There is no "I" in team, but there is an "i" in my penis.

10:21 AM  
Anonymous D. Murdock said...

"Grow up."

12:38 PM  
Anonymous D. Murdock said...

"Oh yeah. I forgot to add: go suck a dick. Sorry for leaving that out."

12:38 PM  
Blogger Turtles Eating Salad said...

*eek!* *eeerp!* *euigh!* *uhee!* *spurt spurt spurrrrrrrrrrt*

1:06 PM  

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