2/26/06

GWiMMRN, Allah Only Sucks a Little Cock on Sundays Edition

I trust that everyone's having a great Lord's Day? Excellent. I also trust that you've been FOCUSING on my mouth and its contents all week long? Spiffy! I love Sundays. LOVE 'EM. You know why, I bet. GWiMMRN:

A) A really big, life-affirming dump that unfortunately resulted in a hem-uh-ruh-ruh-roid that feels like a red-hot penny stuck to the side of my asshole
B) Jordan's little broken heart, to go with her little yeast infection
C) A big loaf of sourdough bread, baked in a warm, moist little oven
D) Spermarang Surprise
E) Shock and Aw, MAN! THAT'S DISGUSTING
F) Betty Ford, the only First Lady in American history to have perfected the trick of not only unwrapping and chewing a wad of watermellon bubblisious (sic) with her snatch, but can also blow pretty impressive bubbles with it
G) *pop*
H) A big, fat watermellon (sic) cock

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I... I think I'm in love with Jordan.

*spppurrrttt*

Oh. Never mind. The feeling's gone, now.

11:38 AM  
Anonymous B. Ford said...

Come to my clinic and I'll teach you how to make a balloon animal with nothing but Watermellon Bubbilisious and my vodka-reeking snatch.

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*deet doot da deet doot*

NEED MORE INFORMATION ON LIFE AFFIRMING DUMP STOP IS IT RELATED TO THE WET SMELLY DUMP WHERE YOU WERE AFRAID TO WASH YOUR ASS IN THE COMPANY BATHROOM SINK STOP I HAVE NO REAL CONVINCING REASON TO LIVE STOP MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS STOP

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All dumps are related, in that kind of brotherly-love way.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Betty Ford's Vodka-Reeking Snatch said...

Fuck me! Just use me and get off!

Or, at least, buy one of my snatch-made balloon animals made of watermellon bubblisious (sic).

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Militant Muslim said...

HEM-UH-RUH-RUH-ROIDS ARE CURSE FROM ALLAH!

ULLULLULLULLULLULLULLULLUU!

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Betty Ford's uncrossing her legs! Don't light a match or we'll all blow up!

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Hapless Smoker said...

I need a cigarette.

*flink*

*BOOM*

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No no, I'm in love with Jordan.

*spuuurrrrrt!*

*spurrtt*

*spurt*

*sprt*

*spt*

Jordan, come back to me!

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You shouldn't do that. Gum will stay in your colon for, like, 7 years. Your farts will smell like watermellon for a loooong time.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, we're geniuses.

4:44 PM  
Blogger Tu s. Tin said...

I try to keep the gum in my mouth...but sometimes I swallow it... accidently....the gum I mean.

4:44 PM  
Blogger Tu s. Tin said...

funny how everyone else here is smart enough to be anonymous but me.

4:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We all know who you are, sweetheart.

It's okay.

XXXXOOOXOXOOXXO

*spurrrrrrrrrrrrrttttt!*

5:44 PM  

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