GWiMMRN, Turtles Eating Salad Edition
Remember when Guess What's in My Mouth Right Now used to have "editions," like some news magazine? Yeah. Well, like my man A. Louima says, "oooooh boy."
gwimmrn:
A) Turtles, and their weird, un-turtle-like noises while eating green, leafy vegetables.
B) My toilet, who refused to flush a beefy turd I delivered last night.
C) A plunger.
D) A mop.
E) A bucket o' suds.
F) Disgust and anger at a turd who could not possibly control its own destiny.
G) Forgiveness.
H) A big, fat cock.
gwimmrn:
A) Turtles, and their weird, un-turtle-like noises while eating green, leafy vegetables.
B) My toilet, who refused to flush a beefy turd I delivered last night.
C) A plunger.
D) A mop.
E) A bucket o' suds.
F) Disgust and anger at a turd who could not possibly control its own destiny.
G) Forgiveness.
H) A big, fat cock.
posted by My Mouth at 8:37 AM
8 Comments:
I forgive you, too.
For flushing me.
I must protest this mischaracterization of my words. I have never said "oooooh boy." I only said, "Ohhhhhhh boy" once, and that was when they rammed a plunger up my poop-chute.
Not at any other time.
Why do the turtles go *spurt spurt spurrrrrrrrrrt* when they eat?
Shit delivery! Please sign here on the toilet paper.
I also don't like the fact that you mentioned me AND a plunger in the same post.
I'm a rich man, and I don't have to take this shit.
You didn't have to take a plunger, either, and you did that.
I am getting bored talking about your mouth....lets talk about MINE for a while please! I have gum in my mouth! Watermellon bubblisious to be exact. Other than that is my tounge. ok.... maybe your mouth is more exciting.
I have never heard of anything so ridiculous in my entire life. Bored of talking about my mouth? You're BORED?
Look: there's nothing more important in this entire UNIVERSE than my mouth and what may or may not be in it. Not God, not Allah, not "Watermellon bubblisious." NOTHING.
This website isn't called Guess What's in Tu S. Tin's Mouth Right Now. It's called Guess What's in MY Mouth Right Now. I can't believe that anyone would feel otherwise. Are you crazy? Sick?
FOCUS. Focus on my mouth. FO-CUS. You can do it. I know you can. Say it with me: "I CAN. I CAN. I CAN."
Thanks for writing. I hope you've made a guess. FOCUS. MY MOUTH.
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