11/17/05

My Mouth IS Ambition

Don't that eat all! Yessirree! My mouth never sleeps, it never rests, it never siestas, it never does any of that crap because my mouth is an equal opportuna-ty employer!

Wanna see what's swimming upstream in my mouth, huh, you salmon-sucking bears? Pick three!

A) The bloody hindquarters of a cat who was just speared in the ass by a unicorn.
B) IHOP's buckwheat fuckleberry pancakes with spooch dressing.
C) A stinging inability to make new friends or interact with anyone on anywhere near a human level because I'm too busy making dick jokes.
D) Dick jokes.
E) A misfired semen bomb.
F) A big, fat cock buried under a mound of ketchup soaked Thomas Fries.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

When the buckwheat fuckleberry pancakes hit the griddle, do they make a sound like "KerSPLATT-TSSSIZZZZLE -sssssss"?

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Fluffy little kitty said...

Mrrrrow! My butt hurrrrrts!

1:21 PM  
Anonymous Starwild, the Majikal Unicorn said...

I wanted to see if you were a virgin, little kitty.

1:53 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Dear Anonymous,

I don't know; I wasn't there when they cooked them.

1:54 PM  
Anonymous Fluffy little kitty said...

Rowr! You could have tried to put it in my little cat cunt, then! Stay away from my poop chute!

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Starwild, the Majikal Unicorn said...

I'm sorry, little kitty. It's hard to tell male from female until I spear your anus.

Come now, hop up on my nose so that I may use your fur to clean your blood off my horn.

Hurry, for your rectal blood is penetrating my long, luxurious eyelashes and stinging my bright, blue beautiful eyes.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Fluffy little kitty said...

Fuck that noise, man! I'm outta here, you sick freak.

Meow!

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Starwild, the Majikal Unicorn said...

Little kitty, before you leave me, please answer this question;

do you have a sister?

3:05 PM  

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