My Mouth IS Ambition
Don't that eat all! Yessirree! My mouth never sleeps, it never rests, it never siestas, it never does any of that crap because my mouth is an equal opportuna-ty employer!
Wanna see what's swimming upstream in my mouth, huh, you salmon-sucking bears? Pick three!
A) The bloody hindquarters of a cat who was just speared in the ass by a unicorn.
B) IHOP's buckwheat fuckleberry pancakes with spooch dressing.
C) A stinging inability to make new friends or interact with anyone on anywhere near a human level because I'm too busy making dick jokes.
D) Dick jokes.
E) A misfired semen bomb.
F) A big, fat cock buried under a mound of ketchup soaked Thomas Fries.
Wanna see what's swimming upstream in my mouth, huh, you salmon-sucking bears? Pick three!
A) The bloody hindquarters of a cat who was just speared in the ass by a unicorn.
B) IHOP's buckwheat fuckleberry pancakes with spooch dressing.
C) A stinging inability to make new friends or interact with anyone on anywhere near a human level because I'm too busy making dick jokes.
D) Dick jokes.
E) A misfired semen bomb.
F) A big, fat cock buried under a mound of ketchup soaked Thomas Fries.
posted by My Mouth at 12:40 PM
6 Comments:
When the buckwheat fuckleberry pancakes hit the griddle, do they make a sound like "KerSPLATT-TSSSIZZZZLE -sssssss"?
Mrrrrow! My butt hurrrrrts!
I wanted to see if you were a virgin, little kitty.
Dear Anonymous,
I don't know; I wasn't there when they cooked them.
I'm sorry, little kitty. It's hard to tell male from female until I spear your anus.
Come now, hop up on my nose so that I may use your fur to clean your blood off my horn.
Hurry, for your rectal blood is penetrating my long, luxurious eyelashes and stinging my bright, blue beautiful eyes.
Little kitty, before you leave me, please answer this question;
do you have a sister?
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