Choo choo! The Mouth Express Is Coming Through! Choo choo!

Chugga chugga chugga chugga CHOO CHOO!! chugga chugga chugga chugga CHOOOO!

I'm on a NON-STOP WHISTLE-STOP TOUR through America's heartland to bring you nothing but the finest choices to GWiMMRN!

A) Stanley Kubrick's worm-ridden corpse.
B) National Lampoon's worm-ridden corpse.
C) A rumpled copy of the April 1983 issue of Cracked magazine.
D) Apricot jam mixed with some prune jam on home-made bread and unsalted butter.
E) A salt lick, with the cow still attached.
F) A big fat dick lick.


Anonymous Shiva The Destroyer and Licker of Dicks said...


10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh, it appears to me as though National Lampoon is very much alive.



Care to count the f's?

Care to respond?

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't EAT butter.

It's gross.

I prefer to smear it all over my asshole like a Thanksgiving turkey and let people rub their bread all over it.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous A. Cow said...




Jesus fucking Christ. Did you have to take ME along with the salt lick? I had better things to do and all.

Is this going to be like one of those alien abduction things? I'd prefer to not get mutilated. Or have something disagreeable put into my anus.

10:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have no doubt that that cow is a F.R.A.U.D.

There's not a cow alive that can type, let alone READ. Do you have some extra sepcial fucked up keyboard with, like, really big keys and stuff? I mean, how do you get you hooves to hit only the E instead of taking the 3,4,w,r,s,d, and f along with it?

I'll bet the aliens are helping you out. Or, maybe, the farmer.

Oh yeah. You gonna pay for your lies, cow. You gonna pay GOOD.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous lAND o' lAKES exec. said...

eAt bUTteR YoU fReAk!!!!

12:10 PM  
Anonymous S. Kubrick said...

I, too, am very much alive.

Except for my body, that is.

I'm still waiting for my paycheck from the movie, "A.I."

That Haley Joel Osmond kid really fucked up his life, huh? With that DUI and all? Know what I mean, jellybean?

Yeah. Heh heh. Heh. Well, catch you on the flip side, bud.

12:12 PM  
Blogger El Capitan said...


12:26 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home