Labor on My Ding-Dong

Today is the day on which you must both labor on my ding-dong while singing songs of joy and GWiMMRN:

As Steve Irwin would have said, the heart must go on.

Guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) A stingray!
B) Crocodile Dundee, who's alive, but whose career has been punched through the heart by the stingray of time.
C) FLAVA FLAV!!!!!!!!!
D) New York, who will be making a special guest appearance in My Mouth at 6 o'clock today.
E) The spirit of Public Enemy rolling in its grave.
F) Professor Q. Boredom's Lame-U-Cational Cocksuckery, one mo' time.
G) Charo! Hootchie Cootchie! Oldie Moldy!
H) A neglected past.
I) Link Wray!
J) A stingray's big, fat cock.


Anonymous Steve Irwin said...



stop making

fun of me

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Crocodile Dundee said...


9:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always pronounce it "Flavor Flavv" instead of "flayve".

I'd like to think that he'd be upset if he knew.

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She's got a little age on her, but I wouldn't mind squeezing off a load between those two titties.

In a respectful way, of course. You know, affectionately.

9:04 AM  
Anonymous Cherie Booth's ASSHOLE said...

Hello, there!

I know you've forgotten about me, but I'm still here.

Someone managed to stuff the entire Hope Diamond in me, as well as a busload of people.

Mind having the SAS rescue them?

Pip pip, cheerio!



9:11 AM  
Anonymous Charo said...

There is nothing respectful about a man giving me a so-called "pearl necklace."

Hootchie cootchie, mutherfuckrs.

9:44 AM  
Anonymous T. Blair said...

I have no need for Mrs. Booth's genitalia. I'm the Prime Minister. I'm bangin' UK hotties left and right, 24/7.


Care to respond, fuckface?

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Flavor Flav said...

I am totally not cool with that.


I am neither down nor cool with that at all.

Star Jones looks like a shriveled horse testicle. I keep it real. Therefore, I don't put hidden messages in my website address. So, if I want to tell the world that Star Jones looks like a shriveled horse testicle, I say it outright.

It's pronounced FLAY-V.

Flavor Flav.


9:49 AM  
Anonymous Flavor Flav said...

You know what time it is?

Flavor Flav.

It's Flavor Flav time.

That is correct, my friend.

Flavor Flav.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Flavor Flav said...


It's me, Flavor Flav.

I forgot to mention that the first song on my new Public Enemy album, "Rebirth of a Nation" is called:

Raw Shit.

This was my idea, and nobody else's, to call the first song:

Raw Shit.

I hope that I have communicated that clearly.

Flavor Flav.


9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Flavv:

I would like you to know that I am right now mispronouncing your name all over the house. Everywhere I go, I say, "Flavor Flavv" because your name is a gigantic joke and I want the world to see that.

In addition, it's important for you to know that I do this in the full knowledge that I know HOW to pronounce your name properly, but am not doing so out of choice rather than ignorance.

In short, Flavv, Flavv, Flavv.

I like the flavor of these cookies, Mr. Flava Flavvvvvvv.

Thank you for reading.

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Dr. Fuckhaid D'turdbergler said...

Yo yo!

I'ma big ol' fan of Flava Flav!

Shake my big white boo-tay to his sweet sweet tunes!

Awwwwww YEAHHH!


Keep it real, mah homies!

10:13 AM  
Anonymous The English People said...

We plan to vote that sick maniac Blair out of office at the next erectio- er, election.

We want his wife and her GINORMOUS ASSHOLE out, too.

God save the QUEAN!

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Flavor Flav said...

Since my last comment was not properly uploaded to this website, let me say again:

Flavor Flav.

I said something akin to the fact that it is a free country and you can mispronounce my name anytime you'd like.

I also said something about getting my willy rubbed by four gorgeous young ladies who, at this very moment, are waiting for me to get off the computer and walk the few paces back to the bed.

I am currently in that 15 minutes of time between "loads," if you catch my meaning.

Word to the brother from another mother.

Flavor Flav.


11:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd like to remind everyone to "Suck it" this Labor Day Weekend.


Peace out.

2:00 PM  

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