GWiMMRN, FOCUS Aid Edition

I have found a koan that will bring you instant enlightenment and give you the ability to properly FOCUS instead of bitching about what I put in my mouth. This koan can be pictured thusly:

Happily, it has been in my mouth for some time.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, if it was in your mouth for some time, are we supposed to guess what's in your mouth right now, and is this our only option?

I'm... you're giving, well, you're giving mixed signals. I mean, I try to follow the rules here, and I get shouted down for not focusing and all, and I take the abuse because, on some deep, dark level, I feel that I deserve the abuse, but this...

this is confusing.

Please clarify.

11:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe the size of the poop left by Sluri Cruise. I thought it was an elephant turd or something.

What did s/he eat? If this is the size of Sluri's baby turds, can you imagine what will happen when s/he gets bigger?

Can you imagine it?



OK. Nevermind.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's terrible how Thom Cruise and his wife bronzed lil' Sluree's turds.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Person in Staff Meeting said...

Hi, yeah. It's me again.

Listen, I know this is off-topic from the convo we're having here, but I have a personal problem that I want to take up everyone's time with. It's not that I think this personal problem with the rules and regs will interest anyone. No, it's more like that I don't recognize that I'm wasting everyone's time by bringing up my own personal problems and even if I did, I'm too self-absorbed to care.

So, I know everyone wants to go home and the meeting is running kinda late, but I want to take a half hour to discuss my problems yet again and hopefully you can resolve them to my satisfaction.


11:26 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

I'm very sorry that you have the impression that I was giving mixed signals. I would like to think that if you had the opportunity to peruse this website further, you'd have a better grasp of the subject matter.

You total and complete fucking cretinous imbecile.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous Other Staff Meeting Participant said...

If it wouldn't be too bad of an idea, I would like to point out that we've been sitting on these hard chairs in this horrible little conference room for over an hour, and the life-plaguingly vital issues nearest and dearest to MY stingy little heart have yet to be acknowledged, let alone properly addressed by my peers, colleagues, and anyone else who may or may not have an interest.

As such, I would like us to remain seated here for at least an hour further until my concerns are accordingly assuaged, my ego stroked, and my place here correctly established as someone who has true significance.

Thank you!


11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know why you keep misspelling the child's name, let alone her father's.

I just don't know why you do that.

11:43 AM  
Blogger El Capitan said...


11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's terrible how Tompson Cruz and his wife Hudson Hawk bronzed lil' Slurpee's turds.

What kind of name is Slurpee, anyway? It sounds like a fountain drink at 7-11.

It's ridiculous.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous An Astronomer said...

He's lying.

That never happened.

We voted it the smallest object currently visible with the naked eye.


11:53 AM  
Anonymous Yet Another Person at the Staff Meeting said...

I would like to constantly interrupt this staff meeting, otherwise known as "spice things up a little bit," to interject very, very unfunny jokes and other misguided attempts at humor. I realize that this will delay the conclusion of the staff meeting, but I am such a worthless piece of garbage that I demand attention even though I have nothing meaningful to contribute to the proceedings.

11:58 AM  
Blogger El Capitan said...


12:01 PM  
Anonymous Yet One More Staff Meeting Participant said...

I myself would like to sit here and not only not participate in any meaningful way whatsoever, but also not be able to provide any answers to questions directly posed to me. For all intents and purposes, I will act as a place-holder for this office chair in human form. Any minutes of the meeting later drawn up will show that I was in attendance in body, but as usual my mind was somewhere that has nothing to do with this place, my position, or anything remotely interesting in general. If there is coffee, I will drink it. If there are donuts, I will eat them. But that will be the entirety of my participation.

I hope you understand.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous An Astronomer said...

That may be true, El Capitan, but it does not obviate the vote levied against you and your infinitesimally tiny genital organ.

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My confidence in astronomy is at an all-time low.

2:31 PM  

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