GWiMMRN, FOCUS Aid Edition
I have found a koan that will bring you instant enlightenment and give you the ability to properly FOCUS instead of bitching about what I put in my mouth. This koan can be pictured thusly:
Happily, it has been in my mouth for some time.
Happily, it has been in my mouth for some time.
posted by My Mouth at 10:55 AM
12 Comments:
OK, if it was in your mouth for some time, are we supposed to guess what's in your mouth right now, and is this our only option?
I'm... you're giving, well, you're giving mixed signals. I mean, I try to follow the rules here, and I get shouted down for not focusing and all, and I take the abuse because, on some deep, dark level, I feel that I deserve the abuse, but this...
this is confusing.
Please clarify.
I can't believe the size of the poop left by Sluri Cruise. I thought it was an elephant turd or something.
What did s/he eat? If this is the size of Sluri's baby turds, can you imagine what will happen when s/he gets bigger?
Can you imagine it?
Huh?
Well?
OK. Nevermind.
I think it's terrible how Thom Cruise and his wife bronzed lil' Sluree's turds.
Hi, yeah. It's me again.
Listen, I know this is off-topic from the convo we're having here, but I have a personal problem that I want to take up everyone's time with. It's not that I think this personal problem with the rules and regs will interest anyone. No, it's more like that I don't recognize that I'm wasting everyone's time by bringing up my own personal problems and even if I did, I'm too self-absorbed to care.
So, I know everyone wants to go home and the meeting is running kinda late, but I want to take a half hour to discuss my problems yet again and hopefully you can resolve them to my satisfaction.
Thanks.
If it wouldn't be too bad of an idea, I would like to point out that we've been sitting on these hard chairs in this horrible little conference room for over an hour, and the life-plaguingly vital issues nearest and dearest to MY stingy little heart have yet to be acknowledged, let alone properly addressed by my peers, colleagues, and anyone else who may or may not have an interest.
As such, I would like us to remain seated here for at least an hour further until my concerns are accordingly assuaged, my ego stroked, and my place here correctly established as someone who has true significance.
Thank you!
:)...
I don't know why you keep misspelling the child's name, let alone her father's.
I just don't know why you do that.
I think it's terrible how Tompson Cruz and his wife Hudson Hawk bronzed lil' Slurpee's turds.
What kind of name is Slurpee, anyway? It sounds like a fountain drink at 7-11.
It's ridiculous.
He's lying.
That never happened.
We voted it the smallest object currently visible with the naked eye.
Sorry.
I would like to constantly interrupt this staff meeting, otherwise known as "spice things up a little bit," to interject very, very unfunny jokes and other misguided attempts at humor. I realize that this will delay the conclusion of the staff meeting, but I am such a worthless piece of garbage that I demand attention even though I have nothing meaningful to contribute to the proceedings.
I myself would like to sit here and not only not participate in any meaningful way whatsoever, but also not be able to provide any answers to questions directly posed to me. For all intents and purposes, I will act as a place-holder for this office chair in human form. Any minutes of the meeting later drawn up will show that I was in attendance in body, but as usual my mind was somewhere that has nothing to do with this place, my position, or anything remotely interesting in general. If there is coffee, I will drink it. If there are donuts, I will eat them. But that will be the entirety of my participation.
I hope you understand.
That may be true, El Capitan, but it does not obviate the vote levied against you and your infinitesimally tiny genital organ.
My confidence in astronomy is at an all-time low.
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