GWiMMRN, *brrrrrrrrrrp* Edition
To be in my mouth, or not to be in my mouth. That is the question:
A) The words, "I would just like to add that I just ate a whole shit load of whole wheat pasta and I have a lasting feeling of fullness. *frrpt*" which may be the meanest thing ever said on the internet
B) An ethereal, gossamer pubic hair lovingly plucked from the mons of an angel
C) Hot pie
D) Helen Thomas
E) Camel Toe
F) Caramel Toe
G) A burka
H) Tiny Tim's headstone, which I told my wife has a button on it that when pressed, plays his sickening falsetto of "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" and she believed me
I) Tiny Tim's big, fat cock
UPDATE:
UPDATE UPDATE: The answer may now be J) A MySpace Profile.
A) The words, "I would just like to add that I just ate a whole shit load of whole wheat pasta and I have a lasting feeling of fullness. *frrpt*" which may be the meanest thing ever said on the internet
B) An ethereal, gossamer pubic hair lovingly plucked from the mons of an angel
C) Hot pie
D) Helen Thomas
E) Camel Toe
F) Caramel Toe
G) A burka
H) Tiny Tim's headstone, which I told my wife has a button on it that when pressed, plays his sickening falsetto of "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" and she believed me
I) Tiny Tim's big, fat cock
UPDATE:
UPDATE UPDATE: The answer may now be J) A MySpace Profile.
posted by My Mouth at 5:48 AM
14 Comments:
Wow. Helen Thomas looks pretty hot in that picture.
My "sickening falsetto" put food on the table, bub.
But now I'm dead.
Oh! Won't some valiant young man rescue the camel toes of Skara Brae?
*FFFRRRRPPPPTTT!!!*
You totally need to check out my camel toe. It's inflated for your pleasure.
*frrrpt*
Sorry about that.
*frpt*
*pt*
OK. Got that out of my system. Proceed.
That one site had a picture of Li'l Kim that makes me just...oh...
*SSSSPPPUURRRRRTTTT!!*
*spurrrrrttttt*
*sprrt*
*spt*
Oh!
Oh, wow.
Mostly spooge there. Just a few threads of blood.
That's good, isn't it? I mean, I'm getting better, right?
UUULULULULULULULULULLULUUULLLUU!
Kill the infidel with the sandy vah-GI-na!
UUULULULULULLLLULULULUUU!
I don't know why I'm doing that. Sorry.
Sorry, bud. Can't help you.
Wrong game.
Got a lock I can pick?
No, you may NOT have your childhood back.
You gave it to me and my Ultima Games.
Suck it and be happy for the spooge that follows.
That is all.
Good day.
*beeep!*
Uh, hi. Jim Oldburger here. I'm the marketing rep from Vidal Sassoon. We'd like to talk to your manager... What was his name? Mike Angel? About a marketing campaign for a new brown shampoo featuring the fat kids, especially the one who is demanding 77 hot apple pies.
The shampoo will be called Vidal Sassoon's Shit-Storm Passion Monsoon and will be a thick, chunky, and smelly...uh, endlessly fragrant combination shampoo and hair dye.
My number is 555-1212. Thanks. Looking forward to hearing from you.
The Vidal Sassoon guy probably isn't who he's claiming to be. I mean, he gave out 555-1212 as his telephone number. That's the number for Information.
I really, really feel that way. A lot.
And I want my fucking childhood back THIS INSTANT. I don't care how many Moon Gates, Ancient Ruins, Dungeons, Savage Coasts, and Rollerball Arenas you have to go through to get it.
*beeep!*
Hi. Jim Oldburger again. Just sent you the ... uh... prototype for our new shampoo/dye, Vidal Sassoon's Shit-Storm Passion Monsoon. Hope you got it.
In the mail, that is. Heh heh.
Okay. Guess you're not in. So, that bottle's for you to keep. Let us know what you think. Number's 555-1212.
That's a real number, by the way. I heard some dickhead claims it's not, but it is.
Well, you heard him. That was the Archangel Michael, and HE'S commanding you to get me the seventy-seven hot, fresh apple pies I'm owed and entitled to.
I'm pretty tired of waiting, and I've got a warm clot of my older, more husky brother's shit in my hand right now, ready to hurl at a moment's notice.
*rrrrorrrorrrrooorrr*
That was my stomach growling. You may have to get me another double bacon cheeseburger while you're at it. And another extra-large strawberry shake.
Come on. Let's go.
That's a mighty sickening MySpace profile.
There's a bunch of academics who are mapping MySpace profiles to understand social network structures.
I can't wait until they find this profile.
I see that Tom is willing to be friends with Franky. That's nice.
You people are S.I.C.K. sick.
That's it. I'm going home.
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