GWiMMRN, Shriveled Horse Testicle Edition

As you most likely have guessed, the previous post was actually the world's longest anagram. If you're properly FOCUSED, you've already puzzled it out and know all sorts of things. At any rate, the point isn't to talk about what happened yesterday; this website is not called GWWiMMY for a REASON. It's about what's in there right now:

A) A great sense of relief upon opening the upstairs toilet lid to find merely a stained bowl and rim instead of an unholy desecration
B) A new type of food based on the low calorie ("low-cal") concept that I call fee calorie ("fe-cal") where you pay more for higher calorie meals
C) What Star Jones looks like
D) Nasturtiums
E) Garlic curlies
F) Short 'n' curlies
G) Curly
H) Curling
I) The overweening self-importance of the average Berkeley resident
J) A big, fat curlescent cock