7/3/06

GWiMMRN, Stupefying Patriotism Pre-July 4 Edition

Sis-boom-bah. Rah. Rah. Rah. I'm the most patriotic sonofabitch you'll ever meet. Grab your red, white and blue pinwheels, hold on to your jimmy-hat and GWiMMRN:

A) Superman, AKA the Anal Bead Master of the Homoverse.
B) Neither corn nor Superman, as it turned out.
C) Illegal fireworks.
D) The eagle, which has landed.
E) Patriotic swim-wear.
F) Hot dogs.
G) A weird, untraceable smell.
H) A patriotic, pre-Fourth-of-July cock with sprinklers and red, white and blue pinwheels and frosting with ants all over it.

UPDATE: The answer may now be I) A special 4th O' July message from Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN:

14 Comments:

Anonymous Guy with Patriotic Cock said...

the ants are biting me

ow

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fireworks are legal where I live.

Care to respond, dickface?

:)

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Dickface said...

No, I don't care to respond.

12:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh man i really want to stick it in that overly made-up skeeze in the patriotic bikini with her legs spread wide please honey let me place my huge uncircumcised cock into your bikini-waxed coochie and pump pump pump until ungh ungh ungh and then spurt spurt spurt

Please.

12:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I doubt that all fireworks are legal in your state. In MY state, only CERTAIN KINDS of fireworks are legal. I'll bet the same goes for YOUR state.

Care to respond, dickface?

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Jimmy Olsen said...

Uh, I wouldn't make fun of Mr. Kent like that.

Nuh-uh.

No way.

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, I would care to respond.

My response is this:

:)...

12:10 PM  
Anonymous overly made-up skeeze in the patriotic bikini said...

OOOh say can you see? by the dawn's early light! like rockets they glare! from the town's last streaming. And the rockets red glare? the bottom's in the air! for truth in the night, as our flag is down there! Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave? for the land of the freeeeeeee! and the home of the brave!

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Founding Fathers were a bunch of old queens that got together in Philly so they could suck each other off.

Fireworks are a symbolic expression of the loads they'd shoot in each other's faces.

Founding Faggots is more like it.

Don't you fucking question my patriotism. Dickface.

Could you...

Could you respond?

Just a little?

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint of GWiMMRN" said...

"Hello."

"I'm utterly speechless."

"I just don't know what to say."

"I'm so incredibly sick and tired of having to come here to this awful, horrible place to respond to these false statements and the appalling misuse of my good name that I just don't know what to say."

"It's obvious to me that there's no way in hell, heaven, or anywhere in-between that any of you will do the thing I've been kindly suggesting for months and months."

"That thing, the thing I've been suggesting, is two words long."

"GROW UP."

"Okay?"

"GROW UP, you diseased cuntmuscles."

"You slack, drooling dog's assholes."

"You slimy, cold piles of cocksnot."

"Grow up."

"Grow up, already."

"GROW UP."

"And suck the hemorrhoids out of my big brown ass while you're at it."

"Immature dickweasels."

"GROW UP."

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint of GWiMMRN" said...

"Oh, I forgot to say something."

"GROW UP."

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Benjamin Franklin said...

I am quite distressed that I must rise from my grave, dust off my bones, and answer to such despicable comments posted on this website, an otherwise wonderful information vehicle which is occasionally besmirched by ugly people such as the one who left the comment that I am now addressing.

There are, however, so many inaccuracies lodged in this comment that I can not possibly address them all here.

Suffice to say, that I question the patriotism of any commenter who degrades the good name of America and is so afraid of rebuttal that he prefers to remain "anonymous," rather than facing a public trial comprised of his peers.

I now return to my grave. Good day, ladies and gents.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I question not only the patriotism, but also the judgment and SANITY of anyone, living or dead, who would refer to this disgusting website as "an otherwise wonderful information vehicle."

Ergo, Ben Franklin was a cockgobbling fagito.

Good day, homos and lesbos.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe that you just called Ben Franklin a "cockgobbling fagito."

3:20 PM  

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