6/22/06

GWiMMRN, Cancel the Account Edition

Unlike AOL, I won't give in to stupid things like what YOU want. No. My mouth is PARAMOUNT, UNIVERSAL, and FOX-y. Now, GWiMMRN:

A) Cancel the account. Cancel the Account. Cancel. The. Account.
B) Your account.
C) Your supervisor.
D) A moldy head of lettuce with greenish blackish slime all over it.
E) The best Godzilla Fan Fiction Megasite ever.
F) The best big, fat cock ever.

UPDATE: Cancel. The. Account

UPDATE UPDATE: The answer may now be G) Captain Fruit and his Fruity Bike, fruitin' it up down a busy street.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello?

AOL?

I'd like to cancel my account.

Well, I actually don't want to, but my supervisor told me to.

He also told me to tell you to go to his house to suck his dick in your mouth.

Hello? Hello?

6:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's pretty funny that the AOL Customer Service Representative got shitcanned for being such an asshole.

Pretty. Funny.

I bet he's all GROWN UP now.

Care to respond?

6:34 AM  
Anonymous The Little Bird said...

Suck it.

OBLIGE ME.

6:44 AM  
Anonymous The Cat with Hideously Swollen Testicles said...

ow

me

ow

6:46 AM  
Anonymous John said...

One day you'll THANK ME for being such a complete asshole. Believe me, that day will dawn on you and you will be hit by the light of my complete assholocity.

Like my good friend and fellow impala penis wibbler, Deroy Murdock used to say before he rammed a railroad spike up my ass on our regular Thursday night railroad spike up the ass ritual, "grow up."

6:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry I killed you, Little Birdy. I didn't mean to. I really don't know how you died. Perhaps you caught some little birdy STD from another little birdy.

It was very difficult getting the duct tape off your body. I didn't want to bury you with your duct tape on. It looked so... undignified.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Captain Fruit, sans His Fruity Bike said...

Oooooo! Who borrowed my SPECIAL bike seat? The one with the knobs and the self-releasing lube?

7:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get bent, Captain Fruit. Take you and your fruity bike and get the hell out of the street. You must feel pretty special riding in your fruity bike, slowing down traffic and generally just being fruity. I'll bet you're thinking, "Why doesn't EVERYONE ride in a fruity bike like mine?" I'll bet you've got a smug expression on your face when you wheel that fruit-monster into your eco-friendly home and sit down to a meal of fruity granola.

JERK.

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am the balls that they refer to in the expression, "It's hot as balls out there."

And yet, I remain anonymous.

10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've never heard that expression before.

I AM pleased to note that I had the opportunity to use the "You don't have to teach a dog how to take a shit" expression today, when some Belgian friends told me that someone wanted to take them to an American brewery, as if Belgians never before saw how beer was made.

It was, pretty much, the highlight of my entire life. My bright, shining moment.

And yet, I remain anonymous as well.

Care to respond?

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN said...

"Excuse me."

"It has come to my attention that someone has mischaracterized himself as a friend of mine on this very website."

"So I've decided to take the time out of my VERY BUSY DAY to respond to these false statements."

"I have no friends on this sickening hole in cyberspace."

"In fact, I despise and loathe you all."

"The endless humiliations I've suffered here because I had the temerity to tell some people to 'GROW UP' have been truly horrific."

"For the record, I have never, as that one person stated, 'wibbled an impala penis' in my life."

"Nor have I done that DISGUSTING thing with the railroad spike."

"Whoever said that I did these things on Thursday or any other nights, has a serious problem."

"The problem is that he hasn't GROWN UP."

"So he should GROW UP."

"Grow RIGHT THE FUCK UP."

"Because I'm sick and tired of having to come here to deny that I have performed oral sex on animals."

"Because I haven't."

"That I know of."

"So, in short, you should all just, as I've said a thousand times before, GROW UP."

"G."
"R."
"O."
"W."

"U."
"P."

"You bunch of goddamn faggots."

12:55 PM  

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