6/20/06

GWiMMRN, Dead Little Birdy Edition

See if you sheep-shearers can guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) A dead little bird.
B) A dead little bird.
C) A dead little bird.
D) The horror of finding the little bird dead in his cage this morning.
E) A dead little bird.
F) A dead little bird.
G) A dead little bird.
H) The DIAGNOSIS: The little bird's big, fat cock was too large. It cut off the circulation to his brain. At least, that's what I comfort myself with.

UPDATE: Dead little birdy.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello? 911? Yes, I accidently set my penis on fire. I'm not sure what to do here. Should I use water, or is this like a grease fire and I should use baking soda, or something?

9:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know why you're not answering me. It's been an hour or so and my penis is still on fire. How should I put it out? I thought that 911 was designed to HELP people, not HURT them.

I'm being hurt by you, 911 Operator.

VERY HURT.

I plan on a lawsuit. As soon as you tell me how to remove the fire from my penis, I'll file one.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My penis still burns. It's like one of those wildfires that keep on burning. It's been several hours, now, and the 911 operator refuses to call me back.

I'm in very deep trouble and the Local Authorities refuse to help.

I'm only going to wait ONE MORE HOUR before I... well, I can't think of any other options.

Hopefully, something will come to me soon.

Tearfully yours,

Man with a Penis on Fire

2:55 PM  
Anonymous 911 Dispatcher said...

Hello sir?

Hello?

Are you there?

An ambulance will be on its way shortly. Well, fairly shortly.

In about an hour or so.

They suggest dousing the fire with a mixture of rubbing alcohol and butane.

Sir?

Hello?

4:02 PM  
Anonymous Charles Darwin said...

What we have here is a clear case of natural selection: the avian creature's genitalia were too large to permit a proper blood flow to the rest of the circulatory system. Hence, he perished.

It is science, and cannot be denied. The "little birdy's" own COCK killed it.

GROW UP.

4:42 PM  

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