Who Wrote the Book of Love? MY MOUTH

Take it or leave it. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out. My way or the highway.

"Suck it or grow up. It's your choice."


A) A crushingly beautiful sense of self-importance.
B) Those creepy Milky Way commercials. You know what I'm talking about. Where the guy gets rejected then fantasizes about some tiny, albeit buxom woman in his Milky Way bar, and then he bites her head off.
C) Gardenburgers!
D) Starblazers!
E) A janitor's intemperate question.
F) Glue.
G) A big, fat cock.

UPDATE: The answer IS NOT H) The morning dew.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like Gardenburgers.

The only problem is the fiber in them tends to solidify my stools. I like to give my building's janitor a lot to do, so I usually try to eat only things that will make my feces runny and splattery like hot brown glue.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Tiny, Albeit Buxom Candy Bar Broad said...

Bite my head off! Get a big mouthful of chocolatey goodness from my spurting stump!

8:51 AM  
Anonymous Derek Wildstar said...

I would appreciate not being mentioned on this revolting excuse for a website. I'm a military man, you know.

As Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN would say, "Grow up."

And then he'd go and stick his head up a hippopotamus's asshole, tonguing for polyps. I won't do that, but the thought is there.

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't like either choice.

9:02 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Suck it. Or grow up.

Two choices.


10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like Boca Burgers, actually. They make shit stick to the bowl like nobody's business.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I don't think the tiny, albeit buxom candy bar broad is really who she says she is.

Care to respond?

10:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure how to respond to that.

Who, then, do you think she is?

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN said...


"I am once again called upon to respond to false accusations made against me on this website, despite the fact that I have no time to do so."

"At any rate, I have not inserted my cranium into the rectum of a hippopotamus, or any other mammal."

"I also have not, as has been suggested, gone 'tonguing for polyps.'"

"To the best of my knowledge, hippopotami do not have rectal polyps."

"If I had more time, I would explain this to you, and deny any connection to a person calling himself 'Derek Wildstar.'"

"But I don't."

"More's the pity."

"You should just GROW UP."


"Just do it, please."

"Thank you."

"Oh, wait."

"There is one more thing."


"Thank you."

"Okay, then."

"I guess that's it."


11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have several purple blisters on the head of my penis, and they're all oozing greenish pus!

Care to respond?

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure how to respond to that.

Care to respond?

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hee hee!

That "care to respond" thing never gets old.

Care to respond?

Hee hee!

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


3:57 PM  

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