Welcome to "Suck It" Saturdays

If it's Saturday, you have to "suck it."


A) A freshly-lacquered toenail, not mine
B) A pancake breakfast
C) That shit you had to take but couldn't because you didn't want to go in the airplane toilet so you let it sit there and prairie dogged it for the whole flight until it got all sharp and jagged and ripped up your asshole a little when you finally got home and delivered it
D) A slightly bloody wad of toilet tissue
E) Three used dog beds, covered in hairy clumps
F) Things, succulent little things
G) The round, glistening face of the hefty Latina girl who works at the Sbarro's in the food court at the mall
H) A big, fat qoq


Anonymous the hefty Latina girl who works at the Sbarro's said...

Listen; that's not glisten. I'm sweating my hairy vagina off in here.

GET ME A TOWEL, for crying out loud.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Your dooky said...

pleeeeeease release meeeee. let me go-ooooo!

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"... and Pharoah's turds were hardened and he heeded not his colon, who said, 'let my poopy go, so that they may be flushed into Israel.'

But Pharaoah would not let his poopy go. His poopy turned hard, with sharp, spikey points. And so when his ass-cheeks parted, a river of blood descended forth, engulfing the Pharaoh and his men."

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Howard said...

"I mean she just grabbed me all down there and yanking and yanking and tearing me up with those fingernails."

11:45 AM  
Anonymous O.L.A.S.J.H.C. said...


You'll smoke a turd in hell for that!

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Howard's Ying-Yang said...


12:29 PM  
Anonymous Howard Cosell said...

Look at that little penis go!

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Howard said...

"I don't think people are taking me seriously."

"My balls were yanked out manually. By my wife."

"I deserve some sympathy."

"As my good friend Deroy Murdock would say, 'Give the man some sympathy. He just had his balls yanked out by brute force.'"

1:40 PM  
Blogger autogato said...

What the hell is prairie dogging it mean???

3:22 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

It's when you have to poop so bad that the turd pokes it's lil' head out of the anus and just kisses your underwear bottoms.

It resembles a prairie dog poking it's head out of a hole.

"Grow up."

9:20 AM  
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