5/10/06

GWiMMRN, Downsizing Edition

Alright, folks. Listen up. The rumors you may have heard are true. GWiMMRN, which is a subsidiary of MY PENIS, has bought controlling stock in Wilhelmina's Web Sundae with All the Toppings. MY PENIS is not available for comment, but, as of press time, he says he is, and I quote, "currently engaged in a hostile takeover of your wife's ass."

Some of the employees at WWSwAtT have been under-performing. There's no kind way to put this; one of them will be fired on Friday.

Alright people, settle down. FOCUS, people. FOCUS.

Due to stringent adherence to affirmative action policies, we are unable to fire any minorities, which means that Wilhelmina, Muhammad Ali, and Senor Chip Butty are safe. Shifty McPenis is dead, so he's safe. However, the rest of them are eminently fireable.

So, guess which beloved or not-so-beloved WWSwAtT employee is in my mouth, queueing to be fired:

A) Reese Witherspoon, America's Sweetheart.
B) Franky Buttafuoco, Paraplegic Mailperson.
C) The Bugs.
D) Elvis, The King, AKA The Carjacker Gourmet.
E) The REAL Mark Harmon.
F) Starwilde, the Majikal Unicorn.
G) Sir Lord Assmunch.
H) Dr. Zachary Smith.
I) A big, fat cock.

HINT: The answer may be wedding cake.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that there is no 'i' in team, but there IS an 'i' in my penis. Is that true?

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't Franky the parapalegic mailperson covered under the affirmative action policy? He's, like, retarded, right? Shouldn't that count for something?

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't Reese Witherspoon, America's Sweetheart a woman, and therefore "safe" under the affirmative action policy?

9:53 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Let me address your concerns in turn:

1. Fuck you.
2. Go fuck yourself.
3. Fuck that bitch.

Hope that addresses your concerns. Now, FOCUS, people.

FO-CUS.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Philosopher Newport said...

i can't decide!!
it would help if one of the choices was a 15 year old female gymnast...

that was a bravo fucken take on little deuce coupe---yea!!

little loose poop...
...dude, we should be writing sitcoms together...with andy harding as well: http://lalunaharding.blogspot.com/

the sad pathetic truth of it all is that my heart is dead serious, but me mind knows it shan't come to pass.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Tu s. Tin said...

I guess Frankie should go.

4:36 PM  
Blogger Tu s. Tin said...

tell me...do any biblical figures ever come around the sundae? some one like King Solomon?

5:07 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

As a rule, I'm WAAAAY too into myself to care about the concerns of others. Some call this is a defect. Myself, I call it a perfection.

My favorite sitcom is GWiMMRN, and I don't think this site is funny. It is a very, even DEADLY serious website.

But, who knows? I'm a MERCURIAL sick maniac.

I'm sorry that you think Frankie should go. He's the only one who is brave enough to show his pirpel tirtel penis. But, I will take your vote into consideration.

Then again, I probably won't.

All of the employees at WWSwAtT are Biblical. ALL OF THEM.

FOCUS.

1:56 PM  

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