Take It Easy!

National security depends on you taking a load off, man. So, take a load off and put the load right on me. As long as that load is FOCUSING, that is!


A) A foam-rubber universe where no one ever gets hurt.
B) Little Petey the Quadrapalegic's heartbreaking, self-published picture book, The Best Day I Ever Had at the Hospital.
C) Nazareth, Jesus' home town.
D) The Huge, Juicy Adventures of Dick Hunter, Van Nuys, CA P.D.
E) The day Larry "Bud" Melman put a stiffy in Paris Hilton's dumper.
E) A urine soaked nerf football.
F) A foam-rubber big, fat cock.

HINT: The answer may be wedding cake.


Anonymous Like a Baby, Little Petey the Quadriplegic's Flesh-Dragon said...


12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd sure like to live in A).

I've been hurt sometimes.

When I was alone.

12:18 PM  
Anonymous NFL "Golden Shower League" Quarterback said...


12:19 PM  
Anonymous O.L.A.S.J.H.C. said...


12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh, Jesus? That was a bit of a non-sequitur, man. Could you, uh, try to make, like, a little sense?

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Howard Cosell said...

The quarterback throws it...the receiver's going long! I'd call this a "Hail Mary" pass, but it'd be too blasphemous for the Catholics in the audience, what with the spray of piss coming off the ball...

In an explosion of human urine, the receiver caught it! He's running to the twenty...the ten...

Look at that little monkey go!

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright, Howard. You're fired.

But first, I have a question.

What's the NEWS today? Got the news for me? Huh? YOU miserable little putz! GIMME THE FUCKING NEWS.

You infantile suck-rectrum! Fuck you Cosell. I don't CARE that you're dead. I just. Want. The. Fucking.

NEWS! Gimme the mutherfucking news!

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you listen to the news, they'll tell ya. They'll tell ya that if you just listen to them, really FOCUS, and do what they tell ya, we'll all live in a lil' foam-rubber universe where nobody ever gets hurt.

Beautiful, isn't it?

I sure wish I had some of Jesus' butterscotch ice cream right now. That would go down REEEEAAALLL smoooooth like. Yeah.

OH yeah.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm FOCUSING. I really am.

But I still get hurt.

Show me the foam rubber universe, Jesus! I'm ready!

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Jesus said...

I will show you, but you have to suck the butterscotch ice cream out of my dick first.

Think of it like it's communion. But with pubic hair.

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That may be the most obscene, sacrilegious thing ever said on this website.

I love it.

2:02 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Who is Melman?
I'd chose A but it'd be boring!
I don't know anything about D, but if he wears a uniform, I'm game.
Hunt me
Oh Wait , its not about me!
OK, YOu Get F for GWiMMRN

5:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


8:37 AM  
Blogger autogato said...

oh my.

11:06 AM  

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