5/25/06

GWiMMRN, Thursday FOCUS Edition

There are times when I have considered deleting this website, as the lack of FOCUSING has become simply too big a problem to ignore. FOCUS on MY MOUTH. FOCUS, you soggy, rotted french fry sandwiches. FOCUS, you polyp-tonguing smegmoids. FO-CUS. It's a two-syllable word. You have your FO. And you have your CUS. FO. CUS. You can do it. Say it with me: I CAN. I CAN. I CAN.

GWiMMRN:

A) Fruit salad with marshmallow fluff, nuts, and a teensy-weensy bit of apricot nectar
B) The nine of clubs
C) The bags under the eyes of the white, tattooed Customer Service Rep, who despite having been an "exotic dancer" in her previous career, has not yet offered to give me a lap dance, let alone a throat-bruising blowjob
D) The Robben Island lighthouse, before it was repurposed as Queen Kong's dildo on a lonely night
E) The adorable little ass hairs near Faye Dunaway's chocolate starfish, artfully woven into tiny cornrows to give that "ribbed" feeling to my ding-dong
F) Normalcy
G) A big, fat cream-filled cock (Long John)

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do testicles SOUND normal?

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Your Testicles said...

Hear me out for a moment. I'm normal. See, part of me hangs low, part of me hangs high.

Don't I sound normal to you?

Hmmmmm?

Care to respond?

8:55 AM  
Anonymous Dr. Ball-Sac said...

lump, bump or growth lump, bump or growth lump, bump or growth lump, bump or growth lump, bump or growth lump, bump or growth lump, bump or growth.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I sort of like the new Faye Dunaway.

But, pray tell, where did her wrinkles go? Are they now in Kate Capshaw's wrinkly, wrinkly twat?

Hmmmm?

8:57 AM  
Anonymous K. Capshaw said...

TOUCHDOWN!

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about the nine of clubs?

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What am I supposed to focus on again?

I...I sort of forgot.

Sorry.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous :: jozjozjoz :: said...

I can't guess. But I'm back at my site now! (No more blogger!)

11:19 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Sure you can.

Give it a try.

I've found that the inspirational message at the bottom of this website helps me focus wonderfully.

11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's...a picture...of...Helen...
Th-

*bbbLLLEEEECCCHHHH*

*BLOORRROEEEERRRRPPHUHMPHUMPGH*

*blorp*

*blip*

*boop*

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! I just flushed my low hanging nut-sac down the toilet!

HELP!

12:23 PM  
Anonymous 911 Dispatcher said...

Sir?

Is it still attached?

Your scrotum, I mean.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NO, you moron! It's FLUSHED. DOWN. THE. TOILET.

Send the paramedics!

OMG!

3:34 PM  
Anonymous 911 Dispatcher said...

Sir?

Please try to calm down.

Can you feel your testicles?

Hello?

6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I... I can't ... I see a tunnel... of water... it's... my testicle... it's... floating... awa-

6:17 AM  
Anonymous 911 Dispatcher said...

Sir?

You have to stay with me now.

*snort* Hee hee!

Sir? Can you tell me how you managed to-

*snortle* Ahem.

How you managed to flush your NUTS DOWN THE FUCKING TOILET?

6:28 AM  

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