My mouth is pretty damn cool, don't you think?


A) An eager tongue searching for "rectal polyps"
B) The turkey burgers I made on Sunday night that included way too much spicy pepper sauce, so my STOOOOOOOLS have been hot enough to boil water
C) Way too many penis, anus, and feces jokes
D) Onion rings with an onion anus in the center
E) A salesperson who just won't leave me alone
F) The pathos-filled query of, "Care to respond?"
G) Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb
H) The pathos-filled exclamation of, "Ohhhhhh, boy."
I) A big, fat cock


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's one, hot anus.

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Lord not another picture of Helen Th-


*ugh* *huh* *huh*


*hah* *ugh* *uh* *huh*

8:34 AM  
Anonymous Sneeky Peet said...

That sure was sneeeeky of you to hide that picture of *SHE WHO SHOULD NOT BE NAMED OR SEEN*

Veeerrryyyy sneeeeky.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the sidewalk today somebody drew a huge, cave-man like picture of a penis shooting its goo.

Guys who walked past it thought it was funny. Girls didn't think it was so funny. Why is that?

Care to respond?

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Girl who walked past the cave-man like picture of a penis shooting its goo said...

Grow up.

9:04 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

There are times when pictures of Helen Thomas are appropriate.

There are also times when pictures of a jar of smashed assholes are appropriate.

In the above two cases, the times are the same.

Enough with the "care to respond" shit already.


Care to respond?

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Amanda Peet said...


9:07 AM  
Anonymous D. Murdock's Tongue said...

"I do not have time to address all of these asinine assualts on my character."

"I will, though, say this; claims that I eagerly searched for rectal polyps up a rhino's ass are greatly, fucking exaggerated."

"Grow up, you dingleberry wine tasters."

"Grow, the fuck, up."

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


It wasn't...um...it wasn't a rhino.

It was a hippopotamus.

So, um.


So, did you eagerly search for rectal polyps up a hippo's ass?

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Abner Louima said...

Like my friend and fellow rectal polyp-licker Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN, I don't have time to address your asinine assaults.

For the last time, I only said, "Ohhhhhh, boy" once, and that was when they rammed the plunger in. At no other time have I said it or will I say it.

I have to go now, before Deroy gets all the good polyps.

A word of advice: grow up.

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like onion anuses.

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't like onion anuses.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous The Cave-Man Who Drew the Penis Shooting Its Goo on the Sidewalk said...

Je suis un artiste! And fuck you!

I find dick, cock, penis, and hippotomarhinoceranuses funny!

I'd draw rectal polyps, but no one would know what they are even if they were artfully rendered in my medium of choice, CHALK.

Hee hee!

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's no such thing as a "good polyp."

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is such thing as a "good polyp."

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, name one.

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No. YOU name one that ISN'T.

3:56 PM  

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