3/6/06

GWiMMRN, What the Fuck? Edition

Alright people! Don't be alarmed. Everyone just CALM DOWN. Now, don't panic. I'm going to unzip my pants and everyone, and I MEAN EVERYONE, can kiss my hairy, hairy bean bags. Now, don't crowd, don't push ahead in line, there's time enough for everyone. OK? Now, after you're done, guess what's in my mouth right now. Remember: CALM DOWN. FOCUS.

A) Crash? What the fuck?
B) Seriously. Crash? You've got to be kidding, right?
C) You're seriously telling me that Crash was the best movie of the year? No fucking way, man. NO. FUCKING. WAY. Brokeback was ROBBED, dude. ROBBED.
D) Way too much emotional investment in something sooooo stupid.
E) A sore throat, the sniffles, and a bad case of the shits.
F) Halls, tissues, and nothing stops a bad case of the shits. NOTHING.
G) Reese Witherspoon, America's Sweetheart.
H) Reese Witherspoon's excitement at getting the Oscar.
I) *fffrrrrpppttt* *SPLOOOOOSH!* Oh. Oh boy.
J) A big, fat, golden Oscar cock.

UPDATE: It may now be K) This screenshot of the Academy Award 2006 nominations as broadcasted internationale:

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still think it's an ABOMINATION that that horrible site pops up when someone does a google search on "Reese Witherspoon, America's Sweetheart."

An ABOMINATION.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous P. Bismol said...

Never fear, I can stop a bad case of the shits!

Just ram me up your ass and let my warm, pink goodness slosh all around there!

7:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's no way on this earth that I'm getting NEAR those bean bags, no matter HOW hairy hairy they are are.

7:33 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Oh, you WILL kiss the beanbags. YOU WILL.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't Pepto Bismol for stomach aches, NOT the shits? And don't you take it orally, instead of ramming it up your ass and letting the sloshy, pinky goodness slosh around until it can't slosh no more?

Right?

Hello?

Huh?

9:11 AM  
Blogger Reese Witherspoon, America's Sweetheart said...

I WON!! I *frrppptt* WON!

10:32 AM  
Blogger Reese Witherspoon, America's Sweetheart said...

I want to thank my tender, wet farts for being there *ffrrpptt* me!

*splooosh!*

Oh, oh boy.

10:33 AM  
Blogger halloweenxmiss said...

funny as hell-

OSCARS - didnt watch em (BOR-ING)

CRASH (pretty good movie)

BAREBACK MOUNTAIN (doesnt look interesting to me)

HAIRY BEAN BAGS (hahahahaha , no thankx)

ahhhh , wtf...I pick J....

hee hee

:p

10:49 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

FO-CUS.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Señor Chip Butty said...

Orale', mang!

Mira!

De Oscars, day are for fagitos, mang! Choo should watch me, instead! I sing all the hits, mang! I'm internationale!

Bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrroooooo!

Gracias!

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint of GWiMMRN" said...

"GROW UP."

""""""" <----Some of the shaved-off hairs from my hairy beanbag.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Sen~or Chip Butty Fan Club said...

WE LOVE YOU SEN~OR CHIP BUTTY! SING US A SONG!

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RAM IT.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Señor Chip Butty said...

Hey, mang! Dass me up dere!

I'm internationale, mang! Muy famoso!

Besa mi culo, mang! Bbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrooooooooo!

Gracias!

4:30 PM  

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