3/3/06

GWiMMN, We're Back to the DUMB FUCKING EDITIONS AGAIN ON FRIDAY EDITION

As I pour out this latest blog post onto the internet like a hot clot of snot from a dying man's nostrils, I found myself reflecting on all the good times we've had. It didn't take long, as my high standards don't permit me to have "good times" with the kind of sick, twisted lunatic that would read this blog. I mean, you should be ASHAMED of yourself. So come on, sicko: GWiMMRN. It's all you've got:

A) The sociological concept of "essentializing"
B) The scatological concept of "ass eating"
C) The dearth of personal responsibility embodied in Super Size Me, which when translated into physical form would take the shape and size of a gnat's left nut
D) That time I wiped my ass so hard that a peanut fragment from my shit flew off of the wadded-up sheets of toilet paper and landed on the bathroom tile with a low "click"
E) The still-beating heart of the first numbnut who thought it would be a good idea to put a substance that looks very much like the stuff that shoots out of my dick onto a hamburger or a BLT
F) A ubiquitous question
G) The assological concept of "the adorable little ass hairs near Larry 'Bud' Melman's hemorrhoid-plagued starfish"
H) Sssssssssssssssssssalsa! Bbbbrrrrrooooo!
I) A new personality
J) A big, fat corncock

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's the most beautiful CORNCOCK I've ever seen.

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Herbetologist said...

I weep when I see that CORNCOCK. It embodies the soul of Spring, the soaring grandeur that is... CORNCOCK.

8:16 AM  
Anonymous SCB FAN CLUB said...

WE LOVE YOU SEN~OR CHIP BUTTY! BRRROOOO!!! BBBRRROOO!!! BBBRRROOOOO!!!

8:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that the same gnat that's caught under your foreskin?

8:17 AM  
Anonymous Lobster Minstrel Show said...

Stop essentializing us with your essentializing, foundational discourse! Celebrate our anti-foundational ethnic differences, for crying out loud!

8:33 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Shut the fuck up, lobsters. If I have to hear from another perpetually-aggrieved identity group like a bunch of arthropods wearing shoe polish, I'm going to swallow the lot of you and shit you out in wriggling, steaming chunks.

8:51 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Oh, and the flying insect caught under my foreskin was a hornet the size of your thumb.

8:52 AM  
Blogger SeƱor Chip Butty said...

Hey, mang! Don'tchoo be makin' fun of de salsa, mang! Bbbbrrrrrooooo!

Gracias!

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

De nada.

9:39 AM  
Anonymous Peanut Fragment said...

That's a true story. What he didn't tell you is that he picked me up and ate me.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

corncocks r so pretty

10:27 AM  
Blogger Tu s. Tin said...

I love salsa, can I have some? Hold the chips please.

12:05 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Extra chips for YOU.

3:06 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home