3/1/06

GWiMMRN, Bump Day Is OK Edition

You all know that that bedtime story was totally apocryphal, right? How the fuck could the guy have put his tongue all the way through that chick's clit ring unless he had a tongue like a snake? Anyway, that's neither here nor there. What's here is my mouth. You're over there. To get closer to here, guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) A photo of the incident where I got my tongue stud caught in the adorable little ass hairs near Janeane Garofalo's shit-caked starfish
B) Brrrrrrrrrrroooospppurrrt*
C) Even more hot chocolate
D) A tiny doily woven from the adorable little ass hairs near Jordan's pink, puckered starfish
E) The most bizarre graph ever created
F) Whipped potatoes served on a used baby wipe
G) That small flying insect I found caught under my foreskin
H) God
I) A big, fat c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cock

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Letter C may be the meanest post written about anyone, anywhere.

9:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Janeane looks terrible in that picture. She should complain about her treatment.

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that graph going to be on the final exam?

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I assumed that the guy had a tongue ring stuck in her clit ring. But my worldview about that may be off.

9:03 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Your worldview is WAY off.

WAY, WAY off.

Get with the GWiMMRN program, numbnuts.

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The asterisk at the end of Brrrrrrrrrrroooospppurrrt* makes it seem like there's more to say about the subject.

Or that it's not an officially recognized Brrrrrrrrrrroooospppurrrt.

9:18 AM  
Anonymous J. Garofalo said...

I'd complain about my treatment, but...well, you know how that would go over.

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're wrong Janeane, WAY WAY wrong. I give so much of a shit about how you're treated that my colon is EMPTY.

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The asterix at the end of brrrroooosprrrttt* (sic) signifies a footnote. The footnote is as follows:

* ungh ungh ungh.

Hope that clears things up, numbnuts.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Empty Colon said...

He's right, you know.

Brrrrrrrrrrroooospppurrrt*

Numbnuts.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Small, Flying Insect Under Your Foreskin said...

bzzzz! bzzzz! let me out of here! bzzzz! bzzzz!

1:07 PM  

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