2/19/06

GWiMMRN, Sunday "Business Center" Edition

While on a business trip for my 2nd job (my 1st job is stuffing stuff in my mouth like there's no tomorrow, and there isn't), I'm now in the "Business Center" of the hotel. While others are using the fax machine to send me messages, I'm here to report on the wonderful things that MAY OR MAY NOT BE in my mouth right now. See, some of you still think that ALL the choices are in my mouth right now. That would be impossible, right? You can't have the entire state of Idaho AND spooch in your mouth AT THE SAME TIME, right?

Okay, fun's over. GWiMMRN:

A) Stale croissants from the "complimentary" "continental" "breakfast."
B) Rancid butter from the "complimentary" "continental" "breakfast."
C) Stale coffee from the "complimentary" "continental" "breakfast."
D) Curdled half n' half, from the "complimentary" "continental" "breakfast," of which I'm pretty sure is 75% jizz.
E) Self-loathing that I'm using the "business center" to update this horribly disgusting website.
F) The innumerable amount of spider eggs, fecal dust, dried spooge, flaked human skin, and just plain dirt that I inhaled while sleeping in my hotel room.
G) Fecal dust, whatever that is.
H) The entire state of Idaho.
I) Company time.
J) A big, fat corporate cock.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Hotel EmployEE said...

Oh, it's 100%. No doubt.

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so horrified at the spider eggs and fecal dust that I can barely type.

5:19 AM  
Anonymous Fat Guy that Hogged the Breakfast Bar said...

GET OUT OF MY WAY I WANT SOME FOOD.

I LOVE THE HALF-AND-HALF IN THIS PLACE. AND THE CROISSANTS. AND EVERYTHING ELSE I CAN GET MY PUDGY HANDS ON *HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH*

5:20 AM  
Anonymous Manuel, the Little Guy That Jizzed on the Breakfast Bar said...

I love it when they use the half-and-half.

Brrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooo!

heeheeheeheeheehee!

5:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know why they call it half-and-half when it's ALL spooge.

7:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I figured it out; 'cuz it's half of one guy's spooge, and one half of another guy's spooge.

8:43 AM  

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