Sunday, Bloody Sunday!

As Bono himself would sing, "How long, how long must I tug my schlong!" He, if given the opportunity, would also sing lovely songs about my mouth, were he but aware of its majesty. By virtue of your reading this, you are yourself aware of my mouth, which, as Martha Stewart would say, is a Good Thing. What Good Things have I placed in my mouth now, though? That's the question you must answer.

A) Several pages from the King James bible, specifically the Book of Corinthians, repurposed as a nun's emergency panty liner
B) Mother Teresa's pubic hair, grown to freakish proportions after her death and woven into a Valentine for Jodie Foster
C) A pile of those squirrely little green shits you take after eating greasy Mexican food
D) The taste of ozone heralding my imminent demise via celestial lightning bolt
E) A pint of Cris-TAHL, sipped out of Michael Moore's grapefruit-shaped and sized belly button
F) The bits of lint, cheese, and ancient food caught between my teeth after sipping E)
G) Jodie Foster's big, fat lesbian cock