Yes, Thank God It's My Mouth! Without knowledge of my mouth and the things I put into it, I honestly don't know how any of you make it through the day. My mouth will eradicate your malaise, leaving a calm confidence. Guessing what's in my mouth right now will bring you sweet joy. So, on to the joy:

A) A very angry rabbit with brown bear poop-stains all over its fur
B) A 16 lb. medicine ball dripping with snatch juice
C) PopeCorn: The Official Snack Food of the Catholic Church (the popped kernels of corn recovered from Pope Benedict's shit, considered edible holy relics by some)
D) A warm pile of Jello chocolate and corn pudding
E) A single, adorable little ass hair, not mine or anyone I know
F) A single, adorable, big, fat cock


Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:16 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

What ABOUT pilates?

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did the medicine ball come from a women's spinning class? That's where they have the Pilates, you know. Right in there. In the spinning classes. Where the women are. With the medicine balls and the Pilates equipment. There. In there. With the Pilates.

6:29 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Since when are you concerned with WHERE the things in my mouth came from?

FOCUS. The question is what's in there right now, not where did the things in there come from.

6:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I thought it might help. You know. To guess. Guess what's in there, I mean. A little background. Like, if I knew, I'd be a better guesser. For the things in your mouth, I mean. Those things. In there. Now, of course. Those things in there now. Right now. Right. Background. For those things in your mouth right now. So I could guess.

9:07 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

You're not FOCUSING.


Your mind is clouded with other thoughts that have nothing at all to do with my mouth and its contents.


9:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

o.k. I feel so ashamed. I'm sorry. About the thing. The thing I said. Earlier. The thing I said earlier. About the Pilates. And the spinning classes. And the women that are in there. Dripping snatch juice. There. In those classes there. I'm sorry. I should go. Now. I mean, now, I go. O.K. I'm sorry. Goodbye. For now. Bye. o.k. Goodbye.

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Pope Benedict said...

Eat of my corn and be healed!

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm feeling awfully calm.

1:41 PM  

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