11/28/05

If My Mouth Had a Dick, You Know You'd Suck It

It's true. What else is true is that I've got something in my mouth. Right now. The truth is, you'll never be happy unless you guess what it is:

A) A gram of Oil of Olay Smoothing Overnight Wrinkle Cream, licked out of Kate Capshaw's rugose TUHHHHH-WAT
B) The call football announcers make when the offense runs the ball past the end zone
C) The horrible barking sounds William Sadler made while he was frantically jerking off in front of Liam Neeson and Chris O'Donnell
D) Your flash disk after it had been mistakenly repurposed as a heroin addict's suppository for several days
E) The wad of faux jism thrown at Jodie Foster's face in Silence of the Lambs
F) Madonna's red Kabba-lahhhhh bracelet, deliberately repurposed into a cock-rope Demi Moore tied so tightly around Ashton Kutcher's peter that the head has turned a dark shade of blackish purple
G) The tiny silver bell attached to the cock-rope designed to jingle whenever Ashton has lustful thoughts about preadolescent boys
H) *ring ring*
I) Multiple Miggs's big, fat, faux jism-shooting cock

9 Comments:

Anonymous Sadler said...

owu! ruh! whee! owu! huh! ungh!

11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't want my flash disk back, thanks.

11:42 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

He didn't go "whee". It was much worse.

11:55 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

No no, I have your flash disk right here. You can take it. Here you go.

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The "whee" part was on the extended DVD version. It was an hour and a half of out-takes from that scene.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Multiple Miggs in the Next Cell said...

"I smell your cunt!"

1:59 PM  
Anonymous A. Kutcher's peter said...

Hhhhhelpppp! I can't BREATHE!

4:30 AM  
Anonymous The Bells said...

*ring ring*

10:36 AM  
Anonymous wrinkles said...

Thank you for your blog. It's interesting reading and I will come back!

I wanted to mention that we offer fast results targeting wrinkles, crows feet around the eyes, and other signs of aging. We can help to remove 10 years or more from your complexion. If you know anyone who wants these kinds of results should visit my website here: http://freeofwrinkles.com/index.php?source=V

Let me know how well it works and I wil add your testimonial.

Thanks,
Rob

10:06 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home