11/27/05

Oh, Holy Sunday in My Mouth...

May the Lord Jesus bless you and keep you, even though even He knows that you must first pray to my mouth before your prayers reach His ears. Verily, you must also guess what may be in my mouth right now, lest ye be burned forever in the Lake of Fire:

A) The Wool of the Lamb, used to line a device intended to "enhance your solitary pleasures"
B) The Skin of the Lamb, turned into a very holy box of condoms
C) Pre-Christmas jitters, where everyone wonders what they're going to buy for My Mouth
D) Lamb shit
E) B.B. King's sweet, diabetic urine, frozen into popsicles bearing the label "Pissin' the Blues"
F) Michele's ungh ungh ungh cucumber
G) The Big, Fat, Cock of the Lamb

6 Comments:

Anonymous A Daily Tragedy said...

Oh no! I'm allergic to the wool and it is causing big red splotchy things to appear! What will I tell my wife?

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get someone to spray Bactine on it. Just don't douse it with sulfuric acid or anything.

10:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ungh ungh ungh!

1:58 PM  
Anonymous The Lamb of God said...

baaa baaa baaa!

2:41 PM  
Anonymous The Shepherd and the Lamb said...

ungh! baaa! ungh! baaa!

2:58 PM  
Anonymous God said...

THIS IS AN ABOMINATION!

You will all be smoking turds in Hell, this I promise you!

3:48 PM  

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